nil

2006-01-20T11:30:00.000+08:00

birdshit once in a purple moon.
when things are left unsaid,
it's wasn't meant to be unknown
neither was it meant to be known.

it's for some curiosity to break things up.
like how catalyst works with acid to break down matters.
it works the same isn't it.

o' life.
breaking down every moment
hahaha. till we wilt and die off
like a sag of animal skin left in a nice-ly furnish coffin.
yes your bed that would be with you even when the worms attack.

e yucks.
please remember to gave me bottles of insecticide when im dead.
worms will die with me.

well.
have fun studying for exams
during chinese new year
and not to forget you're always breaking down.
= )) even single mintute and second.

a slow process
like how the earth revolve the sun for 365 days.
well it seems like revolving process is lagging for that 1 second.
what's on earth man.
big fat ass human beings.

dead-ed again

Durai Durai

2005-07-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

perhaps now he deserve my sympathy.
Durai Durai.

I hated him for mis-using the company's fund.
but since he use the fund legally why not right?
if i were him, i may be tempted by the benefit of money as well.

oh wells...
i need a job.
i shall go for an interview in NKF.
please employ me!!!

at least i won't be that stupid to sue SPH.
SPH, the monopoly newspaper in SG.
in the history of SPH, how many law cases against them have you come across?
and how many have they lost?
i don't think any.

they will always win.
trust me.
no exception to this time too.

SPH is bullet proof.
only Durai Durai have the guts to try shooting him.
instead of killing SPH, he's no his way to hell now.

god bless this hero.
it will be a big news if he gets him compensation from SPH.
that will NEVER happen.

NKF

2005-07-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

please call 1900 112 - - - -
this has been with us for years!

CEO of NKF
- owns 8 car using company fund.
- take first class flights. (much expensive than business class)
- 25K per month
- 12 months bonus.
- gold tap in company's toilet.

perhaps they are more...
incorrigible.
donors dial in to help the patients reduce their medical fee
and not for the organization to enjoy free money.

each $5 call may cost a part timer an hours' time.
with every performance,
each and every artiste risk their life,
sweat like pigs during practise,
take up less shooting deals,
stay longer in the studio just to put up good performance and gain more phone calls.

they are like the clowns.
being make used of.
we the donors donate to the CEO that is even much richer than us.
let us do the calculation..
12 X 25000 = 300000
300000 + (12 X 25000) = 600000$ per year.

how many of us actually earn that much per year?
how many of us actually get 12 months bonus?

this is a charity organization.
how could the CEO spend so much money no things that are not needed?
business class is good enough.
why first class?
1 car is enough and why 8?
for your wife, son, daughter +++ ???
they have no contribution to the organization.

the most disappointing of all is Mrs Goh.
wife of our SM, Mr Goh.
she said all these are peanuts.
every CEO in the organization deserves such welfare.

hello..
kuku tai tai..
this may not be much to you..
but the donors like us don't earn as much as you.
like i say, $5 = 1 hour.

if that's all peanuts,
my dad's salary of maybe the most 5-6K should be what you so call sesame seeds.
my dad's pathetic less than 6 months bonus
self paid car cum petrol
who's poorer?
who should be the one dialing 1900 112 - - - - ??

not only through phone calls..
NKF have this system of deducting donation from one's bank account if you agreed to it.
there is actually quite a number of people doing this.
asking primary to secondary student to donate to NKF via the NKF card.
but this was abolished after tons of parents complaining.

NKF is earning alot.
their facts and figures are incorrect too.
using last year's donation, it could have last everyone at least 30 years.
but if NKF were to subsidise fully for the medical fee,
it can STILL last for more or less 6 years.
however, NFK state that the donation can only last them for 3 years.
INCORRECT INFORMATION FOR THE ORGANIZATION.

i wonder why charity organization should cover the facts up from their donors.
if without us, they won't be getting 8 cars, 25K each month, 12 month bous, gold tap in the toilet, first class flight and so on...

from now on,
i would rather get my feet down to some old folks home, children's home and many more..
even that few tins of biscuit matters.
at least i'm sure that they are able to enjoy what i've bought for them.
big organization like NKF can have things like that happening..
what about other small organization?

those kids walking around the MRT train asking for donation..
yeah.. donating a big percentage to themself and a small percentage to the needys.
or maybe worst then that, 0% to the people stated in the donation slip.
if they're seriously out there asking for donation that 100% goes to those who needed it,
i guess MORE people will be willing to help.
even to skip that 1 meal just to help another person.

organization of such should be more transparent in how they allocate the donation.
how they use it?
how much they receive?
how much have they left for the year before another mass collection..

i seriously hope that everyone working in those organization have the heart to help
i understand sometimes working doesn't means passion but just for that bowl of rice..
least they shan't spend company's fund on classic example like first class flight.

eyecandy

2005-05-27T10:19:00.000+08:00

HUH??

- Learning to blog about daily life. *radzi commented that my blog looks more of information than those normal blogs*

- Yesterday, I was dining in a restuarant with my family. I was obviously under-dress. How would I know they're going to such places.

- Almost finishing my 6th/5th course this guy walked in with his family. Man.. he's those AC kind. *faints* But he's not from AC because he's in his uniform which is all white.

- Real cute. Behaves cute-ly too. Haha. He seems rich. Or I should say he got that rich looking face. cute arh. We're eating the same course!!!!! How come? Arh going mad.

- haiya... I don't know how to go about blogging in this manner. By the way, his dad's car is just beside ours.. i knew it because there ain't much parking lots around there.. and they can't possibly walk to that place.

- Hoho.. before I left, I saw him still eating with his 1st course.. that shark fin soup. *yum yum* but i thought I've promise not to eat shark fins? Sorta didn't eat because I pass the pieces of fins to mum.

- Our eyes locked a few times. Oh yea I heard the waitresses talking about someone over at table 15.. his family. Do you know how near we are? Hmm.. about a few metres but directly in front of me.. giving an illusion of eating in those long tables..

yanxiu feat. ahmad

2005-05-24T10:30:00.000+08:00

Untitled.

- bah bah bah bah. I wonder what's up with today's messages.

- He smsed asking his number? wth? I gave.

- People needed to be educated on courtesy. At least a thank you from you boy.

Edit: I received what I mentioned above together with an explanation. I swear I didn't ask for anything.

8. rejoice

2005-05-21T12:20:00.000+08:00

8. rejoice.

- back soon.

- dad was sick on the journey. boo.

- just can't wait for them to be back soon.

It's true

2005-05-16T13:04:00.000+08:00

It's true.

Inspired by JQ

- Number of people found dead from suiciding is actually more than the number of people killed in armed conflict. Isn't it sad?

- Where on earth did they get the courage to end their life? Why can't the courage be transformed into another will power to live on strongly?

- It just need a single big blow to let us have the suicidal thought. Ending life as we see the pain coming to an end but never realise that the pain is subdivided into the sorrow of other friends and family members.

- We only care about ourselves.

- The evil thought is always there when our way turns bumpy. However, the thing is that I only lived once and only once. If I ended it abruptly, I'll never have the chance to undo my life. Worst still, i may not rest in peace ; full of regrets.

3. miss you

2005-05-15T21:06:00.000+08:00

3. miss you

- 7+

- calling by the lakeside.

2. miss you

2005-05-14T19:22:00.000+08:00

2. miss you

- waiting for calls.

- take care.

edit: yeah 3 mins.

1. start missing you

2005-05-13T12:27:00.000+08:00

1. start missing you

- I feel SO empty within.

- I really love that fish rice soup.

- Called at 11.55pm to ask if everything was fine. Yes, it is and it will be.

- Always your girl.

Not my own

2005-05-13T10:22:00.000+08:00

Not my own

- Music at the other end is often interesting and out of the expectation range.

- Only to fully realize what's the vibe of it yesterday. Owning the MP3 that belongs to someone else is a totally different experience.

- The songs you played were absent from this gadget, the music you never came across is now playing into your ears.

- Getting to know more about the other one starting with music could be a nice but may backfire if not handled with care.

- Techno(?), dance(?), trance(?), house(?), new age(?) musics are being played. Pretty strange with this new feel. The accompanied of the music for more than an hour plus some skipping and tuning into fm mode.

- Cantonese ballet just brings me back to me back to the times in Hong Kong, the neon lights on the streets shining like candy sticks, the yummylicious chinese delicacies that I still think back often..

- It reminded me of how someone "steal" music from my site and upload it into his MP3. On the way out of this little island, it's my music that plays.. Cool to hear that actually.

- Getting a sleek music device --> noted that i used music device as it might not be called MP3s by then loaded with my very own music and present it to my other half. Nice gift. Oh yeah~ which means free MP3 if you married me. Good deal?

- toom toom toom toom toom toom -> the music is full of toom toom toom toom

Marriage

2005-05-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

Marriage

- I hereby announce you two as married couples. *couples sealing the ceremony off with a kiss*

- Like it always does, marriage portray a start of living happily together.

- Was browsing someone named Janice's gallery where she showed her engagement pictures. The love that was all conveyed by the pictures. The man she called her own was suave while herself is a petite cute lady.

- The scene on the way to ROM, how they walk into the room, meeting their future parents, receiving acknowledgement from their relatives & friends, facing their legal spouse and many more..

- A whole new journey with another somebody entering your life. Somebody whom will be your parents' new daughter or son.

- May all newly weds live happily ever after.

Edit: I ended this post abrutly due to the friendly visit of my dear friends. aha~

My chapalang day

2005-05-09T08:56:00.000+08:00

My chapalang day

- Goodbye gong gong, goodbye. - qouted from Wee's granddaughter.

Yishun-ians.

- Any Yishun-ians? I realised Yishun-ians love to stand around the area where the door opens. Even when they ain't boarding the train, they would still continue to stay around there and awaits for the next train. Strange.

Stress(?)

- Stresses got all so scary when it tries to overcome one's mental/physical health. I'm hereby to pledge that I'm not stress. Only that piece of boredom is killing me. Why not spare me more time for musical plays and museum?

- Losing balance when getting stressed up.. including vomitting. Symptom of stress can be of such a wide variety. Cerebum(sp?) is not functioning well and causes vomitting and dizzy-ness.

- Wells, at least it ain't gonna be some sort of brain disease.

- I'm pretty much into brain. That piece of fats that work wonders for us. I wanted to be a brain surgeon but all that was gone when I decided to slack. Forensic studies would be another good choice but was gone when I slack.

*continuing after lunch, 1pm*

- mum stuff some money for me yesterday. It's for my MP3. Didn't have the cheek to accept it, only to see myself rejecting it.

- At least she bothers to do so. I feel good about it.

- My entries getting boring. Blame it all on TEP. A environment builds up all these in a big mind. My brain wasn't working as much. However, I still racked my brains during lunch time about what to have.

Astrology: Talk about multitasking. You've always been nothing if not amazingly gifted when it comes to juggling duties -- but you'll be even more adept now. If you have time to stop for a split second, you might even see a crowd forming.

- I'm pretty good with multitasking.

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Happy Mother's Day.

- Probably everyone would have make use of this special day to tell their dearest mum how much they love her and how much they cherish her patient, endurance and great love. I'm not an exception too. I always love my folks. Everyday.

I don't think you realized, but instead of ever praising me or encouraging me to study for myself, we would make trades. "If you get top 3 again, I'll buy you that Playstation you wanted."So I studied.I studied maths. I hate maths. I studied science. Science is useless to me. Then eventually, when she stopped trading with me, my studies started to drop.But instead of realizing it was her fault, she just questioned me as to why I wasn't working hard. - quoted from L

- My mum has never trade goods for grades with me before. Never did she offered to buy me any present for my good grades. She's not that kind of mum L has.

- However, she'll try to get what I want if I open my mouth and asked for it which I seldom did even till today.

- The summarize story of L and her mum was that she wanna quit school now and study a totally different thing abroad. She chose what shes doing now due to passion but only to find that that wasn't what she want in life. Quitting school now and get a different degree overseas.

- Seeing that cost, her mum couldn't promise her a thing because L has got another 2 younger sister whom is still depending on the solo breadwinner in the house.

- I could guess why the anxiety to get out of school and go abroad now. Mainly due to financial problem. Knowing that her mum is still there to give her everything, she wants it all now. Not that she's clear in her mind that whatever she want in the foreign land is her real passion.

- Passion and dreams has always been a necessity in life. Able or not to realise them is another thing. Passion/dream is hard to maintain. Money plays a big role so does time. I don't live in an island of my own where I can do things at my own. I got to gave up certain things to attain other items.

- So far, so good. I'm able to get my hands on painting, music and dance(?). I would rather spend a longer route in finding my innerself then to take a shortcut; end my life without realising that I've once lived before.

Bloggers at risk

2005-05-06T10:09:00.000+08:00

Bloggers at risk

- We the bloggers, no longer have the rights to say "this is my blog! If you ain't happy, go ahead and sue me."

- Though your blog will still be yours but anyone who has been defamed in your cyberspace can actually take legal action action us bloggers.

- blah blah black sheep any any wooooo..

-For those who loves saying "come sue me", will have the chance soon. This is a big threat to us or rather me. I'm prone to NSFW entry at times. hoho..

- Be careful while doing your own business in this virtual world because you'll never know when you gonna get a warning letter from the authority.

- I'm pretty sure that having a simple life/boring routines as I do, you may be quite safe.

- 3 cheers.. I'll be hosting simple life soon. Paris will be my partner. *gibberish*

Simple life

2005-05-06T10:00:00.000+08:00

Simple life

- Have you heard the news that Nicole Ritchie is walking out of Paris hilton's life? And that she meaning Nicole won't be starring in Simple Life anymore.

- They should have gotten Nicole to stay for the show.. she's always the one doing all those crazy jobs and having absurb ideas. Aha.

- Prolly I should be the one hosting Simple life together with Paris. No mini mini mini skirts for me please. I'm totally blessed with thunder thigh. *laughs*

- Mine is of course totally SIMPLE LIFE. After morning briefing, i flood my sleepy eyes with thousand of words in the newpaper. Then, the grouchy stomach urge me to get some food.. so here comes my choco milk + curry puff.

- Simple right ? yea~ I shall be the best simple life host ever.

Superficial criteria

2005-05-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

Superficial criteria

- I came across one's writing/rant on daily life. There was this sentence that caught my attention --> "you look okay what!"

- Obviously, this author was having a casual conversation with her co-worker when the co-worker of hers suddenly pop up a question asking about her staus which is single.

- "you look okay what!" is the most common reaction we'll give when stumbled upon such reply. Me too, have the tendency of replying in this manner.

- Was in the washroom washing the soap/bubbles of my hands when I observed myself. Eyes framed up by red metal; tired; sleepy and almost listless.

- Came to think about it, it's also seriously considered as ugly. "you look okay what!" ya perhaps even okay-er without the metal hanging on my face.

- Diana Johnnason's "The man I called my own", depicts a story of a pair of twins. A beautiful but yet evil twin sister vs an ugly but kind young lady.

- Kinkard chose the ugly sister. She wasn't born to be ugly albiet she chose to wear dull-ly and get on with life without much luxurious item.

- She was able to get a man that she called her own all due to the kindness of the author and of course Kinkard who was able to look beyond the piece of metal hanging on her face.

- How many can actually look beyond all these...

you're right;

2005-05-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

you're right ;

- maybe i'm wrong all the while.

- I ever thought/analyze different girls revolving around the same sun as I do. I look around seeing guys going gaga over loose girls. I saw guys falling head over heels for easy to get girls. I don't know where to go from here. I can see myself as a loose girl hooking on to every guy i see. That's totally disturbing. *puke*

- I don't know what I want --> relationship(love). Just as clueless as before. I need no hunk playing the main lead.. I need no tycoon to weave my story. All I could think now was some chemistry, some great frequencies, some comfort in another man's arm and prolly some laughter/smiles that goes well with fanstastic surprises.

- I tried shallow relationships before.. and it's always that. I turn away from people whom really loves me. I'm just not good enough or not ready to engage in the kind of relationships they want from me.

- Last week, I saw the hand I once held holding on to a new girl. I feel nothing. Null.

- "if you hold back feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt; you wind up getting hurt anyway". - with courtesy of muddy

muddy: if you like someone, must tell.
muddy: don't wait till you figure out whether its infatuation or love.
muddy: it'll be too late.

- Pardon my 56K brain. I think and work differently. Talk about loving someone. In this whole life of mine, I only have this eye candy that remains an eye candy for SO long and perhaps only doubt my feelings for another someone.

- It's quite hard to develope something special within me.

- I guess it's time to renew/flourish myself with some love but no shallow ones anymore. I got enough. I put my faith in fate. Capricorns ain't good with sweet talks because they're rather conservative and cold. I'm that sort.

- I think it's karma. When people asked "do you love me"? I said yea even I don't. Karma. Comapred to others, this may not be that major I see. The whole world is faking everything.. nothing is true actually.

- Spare me some love. *laughs*

Dr Wee Kim Wee

2005-05-03T13:27:00.000+08:00

Dr Wee kim Wee

- I remembered one asked "Do you know who is he"? -- > pointing to the biography of Dr Wee Kim Wee.

- The answered given was, "Is he a bodybuilder"?

- Definitely NO.

- Sorry. I'm not here to make fun of an ex-president's death. Someone who doesn't meant alot to me maybe be a precious gift of others from god.

- He's a body builder. Body meaning our little nation. Being the 4th president, when times ain't that good; little land space wasn't that well recognise, he's the one doing the job.

- I know nuts about him till I saw the biography.. but was still quite clueless then. His death brings upon some history knowledge in me. But I guess I don't really need that.. It will be better of the precious someone of others could have been alive.

- Due to financial problems back then, he quit school at 9th grade. --> according to Dad. It was said by Dad that 9th means educated man at that point of time.

- Deepest condolences.

Butterfly effect

2005-05-01T18:26:00.000+08:00

Butterfly effect.

- It all started off with a message to my ex-crush. We used to study together in a ice cream cafe everyday for the whole afternoon till almos/past dinner time. We frequent the shop to the extend when all the staff knows us.

Staff: You guys are here to study again?

- Just the night before our papers, I messaged him. He replied and he --> refering to ex-crush's friend, sent something over too. I thought it was nothing but no.

- He was staying over at my ex-crush's place. We continued contacting each other for a long while. I think I cause his breakup with his girl. I don't know. I always see him as my ex-crush's friend or very much my classmate/friend.

- He started dropping hints which I chose to ignore. He went off asking me out for movies which I also rejected. Then, he begin with class outing which I won't want to miss. Is it because I did not spell out my stand clearly to him and cause that breakup?

- I'm not brooding over it. If they're meant too be, they will be meant to be. If they ain't meant to be, another person will become the cause of it too. *self-consoling*

- Whenever I needed help, he's there. He helped without asking for a return favor. He just agreed to help not knowing what he's suppose to do.

- The last time he asked me out is to a movie, Butterfly Effect. He didn't make it a class outing this time round. I rejected. No more of such request came up again.

- Before our new school term starts, he persuaded me to get into where he is. I rejected. I can sense his anger/disappointment. Previously, he inform me of his new piercings and new colored hair. I gave a negative respond. He was upset. Lastly, we had a simple conversation in MSN which ended abrutly. My fault again.

- Lately, I saw my girlfriend --> attached, flirting with him. I'm rather concern. Not that a feel a thing now but I don't wish to see any of them being hurt.

I love daddy.

2005-04-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

I love daddy.

- listening to "i walk a lonely ~~street~~ road.." green day - boulevard of broken dreams.

- No matter how lonely it is, I'll want my family's shadow to overlap mine.. no matter how lonely I walk on the street, I'll want the sun to shine.. no matter how lonely I am, I'll want my pathways ahead to be as clear.. no matter how lonely I was, I'll never want to part with my dearest.

- Ahmad sent me a message --> "If you ever feel lonely, look to the sky.. always know that I'm somewhere beneath that same sky wishing that you're always happy". *in the midst of blogging this*

- I guess I didn't blog about that day I saw my dad almost fainted. I think that's the scariest. I knocked my brother's door hard, waking him up.. I can hardly open my mouth to explain to him what's on.

- I open all windows, switch on the fans, and slowly I started clearing the house .. until my parents came back from the clinic. I went to bed.. but my head spins.. with the words low blood pressure in it. I cried till I almost miss the next day's class. Terrified of losing my daddy. Yes I am.

- Will always need him by my side.. He maybe strict.. he maybe doing things I don't like.. he maybe giving me that disagreeing face.. he maybe fighting with me over the computer.. he maybe he maybe but he's always cute to me. Just an hour ago, I disturbed him with my feet and he bite my toe. Lolx..

- I don't want to cry over such heartbreaking incident anymore. Who can help it? Stories of friends losing either of their parents but still staying strong.. Stories of friend's parents with some mishap --> illness/etc. I understand the fear. It's within me.

- Ever force the fear within to surface out. I cried. I cried at things I've imagined. I know it's silly to the extreme but I couldn't take the stress of any of the events I've imagined happening on me. I'm the selfish daughter of theirs that would herslef to die than to see her parents to.

I don't know about you but there is nothing more heartbreaking to a parent than seeing his kid sick in a hospital bed, her arm swollen from a needle, curled up miserably in a cold metal hospital cot and unable to tell you how she feels.
But we can see it in their faces and we know. No words are needed. -- quoted from brown's blog.

Capricorn

2005-04-28T16:37:00.000+08:00

Capricorn

- The Caps personality acting up again!? BAH!!

- Please don't associate boredom and coldness with capricorn. I wish I'm not really like that.

- To some extend, I strongly believe that I'm bored and cold. BAH!!!

- I can't just laugh madly with people that are sorta strangers till now. I'm deeply sorry.

- Bah!!! What the hell Capricorns!!!

Mr Postman

2005-04-28T13:23:00.000+08:00

Mr. Postman

- Not listening to Abba - Mr. Postman but just hate it when it reminded me of my LOST kimono. TT_______TT *blah blah black sheeppppp*

- My present from Momo and they *referring to Mr. Postman* lost it on the way to my little island. Not a single bit fair.

- Butterflies fluttering; sakura blooming; spring invading... but all was destroyed by oh-you're-still-not-here Mr. Postman.

- You break my heart.

- Pink kimono that will never be back again.

Harry Potter

- I thought of getting Mizue to send me some Harry Potter specials when "The half blood prince" was launched in Japan... However, that kimono incident.............. BAH!!

- How nice it will be holding on the special item releasing together with the books. Ya~ how nice. TT_____TT

- Shot me now!! *blah blah black sheep...*

Tong Hua

2005-04-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

Tong Hua/Fairytale?

- Sleepy arh sleepy arh.

- I thought ALL fairytales ended with happy ending??

- BULL FAECES. I was trying to play to some "hot" chinese songs with violin. Lolx...

- Due to my inexperiences with chinese music, my tong hua becomes a disaster can!!!! ahahahaha... I can merely play the chorus part. *laughs like mad*

a A g f f g f f g f g f e d

B g A d g A b b b A e e g f

d g A b b b A e e g f g f e d

d e a a c c b c c

Recover Post

2005-04-22T13:05:00.000+08:00

Recover post?

- How long has it been? this is the twenty second of april and I thought I was on a thousand day leave form blogging.

- Gmail was giving some spastic problems.. popping out message like "Oh whatever whaever"

- Just look at the way I got this thingy done, PROVE me that I'm goddamn bored in IBRC. Buds here, saw it?? Visit me. Lolx...

- Life here is still easy but way bored. Out of the word range. Amen.

Muddy-OOO 2

2005-04-17T01:29:00.000+08:00

Muddy OOO

- wah liaos... *must use this typical sing-A-porean tone on you arh!!*

- Was reading that MARGEULIS blog 1 minute ago...

- the time is 1.30am now... I saw that ovary!!! ahahahahah... what else?? blood color lah. just like during your period.. that's the "jelly" form of it. Gwwww...

- When I decided to close half of my eyes and quickly scroll down, it stuck at the picture!!!! *faints*

- I ask for it... man has got ugly organs. uuuuuuuks.

- However, it's still a joyous occassion that marOOOO - "she'll be loved" has recovered.

Mirror man

2005-04-13T16:29:00.000+08:00

Mirror man

- Heard of anything about the person who lives behind your mirror??

- I lived behind that particular mirror. I saw that same person in front of me. It's not only an illusion but althought it seems to be.

- I saw that person who hid at a corner and cried a little. Reaching my hands for the teared man.. only to realise that I'm still behind the mirror.

what the world needs now is love sweet love...

China

2005-04-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

China

- It's always China the troublemaker.

- I'm purely here to rant and not beautify whatever I'm doing.

- No forecast of Pope's funeral. Rejected the invitation from Vatican.

- What's the point? Just because Taiwan is invited too!!??

- Every leader in each country is invited. I don't see how well HK has moved on after 1997.

- If every leader attending the funeral has agreed to one china policy and feels that Vatican had make the wrong decision of inviting Taiwan, they won't have attended.

- I just don't/won't get it.

- Even the catholics in China feels that it's a wrong decision by inviting Taiwan. They view Pope's hard work as a great work to world peace but why can't they just attend the funeral as a funeral and not inculcate a bitsy of politics in it?

- Pope's hard work towards world peace will be destroyed by you people!!!!

Pope John Paul II

2005-04-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

Pope John Paul II

- All the tears flowing. Flooding the whole of St Peter's.

- Not merely a religous leader he being a holy father uphold the responsibility of a influential man.

- A non-catholic like me won't know much about the things he does for his religion.

- I see the tears, the love his people showed. No doubt of him being the first non-italian pope.

- Sending my deepest condolence to all catholics especially those camping over at St Peter's.

- Holy father had left but he had gone towards his lord ; in peace.

Purple blog

2005-04-03T02:59:00.000+08:00

Purple blog

- I won't stay in this purple blog for long.

- Too scary.. lolx..

Daniel

- Find a girl who can't stand it when you hang up on her,who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most,Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes,and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,and wants to be with you in public.Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, when she gets off and you hear her go,"you're the one for me, for always."

- lolx.. thanks for some tinky tinky dong. aha~ i realise why someone rejected when i offer a piggy back under the sea. lolx.. or probably he's too fat!!! *rolling on the floor*

- but i won't piggy back you dan.. you're too young kid. lolx..

say cheese kiddy dan dan.

my name.

2005-04-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

Description of Your First Name of: Pohlee

Although the name Pohlee creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs and bronchial area.

The name of Pohlee gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature.

Description of Your First Name of: Vanessa

Although the name Vanessa creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, and nervous system.

Your first name of Vanessa has given you inspirational, idealistic, and dramatic qualities. You have a clever, deep mind and the talent to excel in highly inspirational lines of endeavour as a dramatist, musician, writer, or artist. You can be lifted by beauty in all forms and are at the most creative when inspired. Your expressive, affectionate nature responds quickly through your feelings, but you must guard against being possessive and jealous.

Humanity

2005-04-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

Humanity

- May I know what kinda diamond cut you want it to be? --> frequent asked question when you're ordering your jewel.

- Is life often that way?? How you want it to be?? What you want to be included??

- Sadly speaking, the world has become a place with no compassion. Even a right to stay alive was taken away. We live for YOU?? Do you mean that if I were to born in here and I got to slog my life away, obey my superior, and die in name of my own country?

- Fcuk that.

- All americans, I know some of you did your best. I see the love you have for her. Being shaped up in SG, I've turn so well-behaved that I won't even bring that glass of water to her. I'm scared that I may be arrested. I salute to those who did something that I won't ever dare to step a foot in.

- Her death shows the cruelty of humans. You may put it that way in which you can make yourself sounds big about it. I'm just trying to end all sufferings that she's going through.

- Do you know you she chose to die?? No one has the right to end it. In the point of a christian, where will she go? Hell or towards god's arm?? You who ended her shall take a walk in hell.

- Let's make the situation a little different by putting in pope John Paul II. What will happen?? Still the same verdict!!?? Think twice. Millions and billion of catholics in the world .. will they allow you to do that?? NO.

- Seeing her as nothing/dirt, you put her to death. 13 days of torturing without food and water. You call that humanity?? Check out your elementary class moral text!!!!

P.S: I'm deeply sorry to use holy father in my above text. I seek for forgiveness. I'm just thinking that it's unfair for a vegetable to die in the hands/decision of others. May pope John Paul II get back to his holy mission soon. I believe father is strong enough to pull through everything for himself, for his believers.. God bless.

Amazing maze

2005-03-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

Amazing maze

- Our lives are ever changing. The dream, the environment, the hopes, the aims, the reality and the etc flows.

- Often see life as a process of hardship, I used walking to represent every steps. It won't be described as hardship if I were to be in a Lumborgini touching my spouse's sexy thigh. <-- See.. I use spouse. You like to touch a rich yet not-up-to standard old ah pek's thigh?? In another words I meant that my future partner got to equip with the necessary gray matter. * back to the story *

- I walk between high buildings and cross the many roads that pass me by. Ain't that lucky to face a straight serene road everytime.

- I see a fork. On the left, there was this man.. standing among the flowers albiet I couldn't catch a glimpse of who he is. The sun shines like it wishes me to be baked. So, I chose the way ahead. No man in front; no flowers in view.

- There I come.. another junction. That same old road with that man still there but only the alternative path is different. I peep at who he is.. he seems to resemblance someone I know. I'm sure I know.

- Feeling the fear in me, I dare not walk to his open arms. Fretting that the flowers around may turn into venus fly trap.. my heart pounds whenever I met a road fork. I know I would see him again.

- But when I know I got to walk away, ajacent from where he is, I felt my heart sore. Is he really who that person I guessed?? I assume that i-guess-who-you-are game must be nice.

- At every road split I saw him. It's a routine or a maze that I'm trapped in?? For the time being or for forever??

- I'm pretty much sure that I'm gonna take that alternative way again. Unless he's going to stop me at the middle of the road.

That's coincidence(!!)

- Highly traumatized by that PALS vice president. He got himself a nick that goes "Fate is building bridge of chances for the person who love.. now God has let you met her and the rest is up to you".

- Aha~ on the funny receipt it concludes that person wasn't me. BUT~ the nick the nick.. is what I used for my blog name years ago!!! And it's the name for this blog!!! Go to hell.. however mine is "fate; building a bridge of chance for the one you love".

2nd weird dream

2005-03-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

2nd weird dream

Stage
To dream that you are on a side stage, reflects your introverted personality. This dream may indicate your need to be more confident and self-assured.

Teacher
To see your teacher (past or present) in your dream, suggests that you are seeking some advice, guidance, or knowledge. You are heading into a new path in life and ready to learn by example or from a past experience. Consider your own personal experiences with that particular teacher. What subject was taught? Alternatively, it may relate to issues with authority and seeking approval. You may going through a situation in your waking life where you feel that you are being treated like a student or in which you feel you are being put to a test.

Dance
To dream that you are attending or going to a dance, indicates a celebration and your attempts to achieve happiness. Consider the phrase the "dance of life" which suggests creation, ecstasy, and going with what life has to offer you.

To see children dancing in your dream, signifies that you will have a comfortable home, and healthy, well-behaved children in the future.

Friend
To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

Lipstick
To buy, see, or wear lipstick in your dream, suggests that you are not entirely truthful about something.

Stairs
To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs, signifies that you will face many setback in your endeavors.

House
To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. If you live with others in your walking life, but dream that you are living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-reliant.

To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking. If the house is new, then it indicates that you are entering into a new phase or new area in your life.

Dog
To see a dog in your dream, indicate a skill that you have ignored or forgotten, but needs to be activated. Alternatively, dogs may symbolize intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. Your own values and intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and succeed. If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it signifies some inner conflict within yourself. It may indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness. If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog".

Cell Phone
To see or use a cell phone in your dream, indicates that you are being receptive to new information. It also represents your mobility.

Key
To see a key in your dream, symbolizes opportunities, access, control, secrets, or responsibilities. You may be locking away your own inner feelings and emotions. If you hear the sounds of keys rattling, then it indicates that you have the right attitude toward life. You are heading in the right direction and asking all the right questions in the process. It is also a sign of decisive action.

Chase
To dream that you are being chases, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.

To dream that you are chasing someone, signifies that you are attempting to overcome a difficult goal or task. You may also be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others.

Scared
To dream that you are scared, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence. You may be feeling a lack of control. Anger often masquerades as fear, so also consider issues about which you are angry about in your waking life.

Man
To see a man in your dream, denotes the masculine aspect of yourself - the side that is assertive, rational, aggressive, and/or competitive. If the man is known to you, then the dream may reflect you feelings and concerns you have about him.

Woman
To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt. If you know the woman, then it may symbolize the concerns and feelings you have about her.

p.s: This is a damn scary dream. I think I was chilling out with my friends when we pass by this stage when I saw my previous dance teacher and of course I sneak down the stairs so that he won't notice me.

We cross the field and we came to my house. The previous one not the one I'm living in now. We walked the whole place and even went into one of the houses and talk to the man. It's damn blardee.. I wonder why am I there telling him what he should do with his house. Hmph~ this all change to a he-chase-me dream.

Snatch the key at the side, I ran out of the house locking him inside. *how he got out??* I took the stairs and ran for my life.. but only see him at the ground floor waiting for me. *shits that's not true my old house wasn't suppose to have stair or lift!! it's a 2 storey terrace!!!*

I bang my neighbour's door and plead for help. I even lied that I need their help to resolve a fight.. -_______-;; Before my neighbour get ready to chase after that man, my mum's loud voice woke me up!!!!

TEACH ME HOW TO RECOUNT A DREAM!!!
I'M BAD AT WRITING WHAT HAPPEN IN MY DREAM.

1st weird dream

2005-03-30T16:22:00.000+08:00

1st weird dream

Bathroom
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, it may symbolize purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.

Traffic
To dream that you are in traffic, signifies frustrations in life and that things are not going as smoothly as you would like it to. You feel stuck at where you are in life.

Coffee
To dream that you are drinking or need your coffee, suggests that you should gain some insight and knowledge before making a decision or tackling some project/relationship. You may be acting too hasty and need to slow down. Alternatively, it may imply a need for you to change your routine.

To dream that you are drinking coffee with someone, indicates that you might have feelings for that person.

Clock
To see a clock in your dream, signifies the importance of time or that time is running out. You may be feeling some anxiety of not being on top of things. Your mind may be preoccupied with a deadline that you have to meet or some other time-sensitive issue. It is time for you to tread on and speed up your actions.

Man
To see an old man in your dream, represents wisdom or forgiveness.

Woman
To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.

Abandonment
To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your own growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream is that you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. Do you feel that people are neglecting your feelings?
Dreaming that you are abandoned, may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream and is part of the healing process of dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood.

P.S: I dreamt about myself being abandon by my friends when we were in the bathroom bathing. As I walk out of where I am, all I could see is dark pathways and roads ahead. *I remembered I saw the Esplanade but the linkways were all different* After crossing the busy road, the sunshines brightly.

The smell of coffee from the cafe lure me in. *I know it's in Takashimaya but there wasn't any victorian style cafe in there* I sat down and I saw two ladies talking while ordering their drinks. I'm sure that they don't know me but they turn around and asked me for some suggestions. So, I told them latte. Which they later on proceed asking me kiwi, mango or another fruit's latte taste better. I chose mango but they ordered something else. *weird*

Laterz, an old man walked over and sat directly opposite of me. Wonder how we start talking.. However, I got to know that he's a CEO of whatever company and we goes off gossiping about Bae Yong Jun. >____<;;

Not long later, I found myself in that old man's house. I was lying on the bed playing around with the clock. A clock from Colors of Benetton. The second hand moves clockwise but after it reaches 12, it moves anti-clockwise and when it reaches 12 again, it moves clockwise. This movement continues.

Earthquake in SG??

2005-03-29T01:02:00.000+08:00

Earthquake in SG??

- Serious? No exaggeration? *looking left and right*

- I received this via MSN IM

this is Channel NewsAsia latest news update. We've received feedbacks from public about sudden short tremours across the island. We've consult relevant authorities and bodies and verify it's an earthquake. All Singaporeans please beware of another earthquake predicted to be grade 8 on the Richter scale that'll be coming along Singapore in the next few hours

- On my first thought, I'm pretty sure it's fake. People spreading rumours like fire. Those silly and bored humans are tryign to be smart or better still laugh at those whom were panicky over it. *throw shit INTO their face*

- No it wasn't what I've thought. Tremours were SERIOUSLY detected/felt in Pungol area.. Even Seng Kang was affected by it.

- The tremours felt in SG at 12.10am, 29th March 2005, were due to an earthquake that occurred in Southwestern Sumatra, approximately 600 km west southwest of Singapore. The magnitude of the earthquake is 8.2 on the Richter Scale. The epicentre is located at Latitude 2.1S and Longitude 97.0E.

- Hmph~ I hope it won't be what I've received from the IM above.. Which is the earthquake that will be coming along/towards SG in a few hours time. I better sleep early.. to ignore this whole incident or perhaps I could escape it. Lolx..

- It won't be fair if any mishap happens/befalls on me. I've left tons of stuff undone.. Ranging from cleaning my room, master my violin, blah blah blah more...

It's all about you

2005-03-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

It's all about you

- So, it's all about you...

- It's not telepathy. I wonder if it exist between us. Of course I wish it does.

- Telecommunication firm may not sent our messages over and cause us both waiting even late night. Internet connection may break down causing us not able to communication through hi-tech devices.

- But~ I realised that the most traditional way of comunication never fails us. Mr postman deliver our letters and never lost on the the way here. I wish postman will never lost any of the letters/parcel of mine.. that reminds me of a lost pressie of mine from momo.

- *sing a song for Mr postman*

- Ugly handwriting. But you know sometimes, I really love ugly handwritings. Biasness surfacing..

- I saw I saw ... that chinese eating tools I got last year. It's the same .. NO it wasn't .. it's in a different color. I remembered.

- Excitement through out the whole journey. Not much words are needed to convey what's there.. I know it or however sometimes I'm confuse.

- Initiative(?) I got the initiative to learn some things I want but my initiative to convey or ask is never there when it comes to all about you.

you: love shape seems to be the prettiest so I bought it. Don't get the wrong idea.
me: erm~ that's not a pretty love shape.. it's more of a spade!!! I think you're the one who think too much. *laughs madly at him*

- "What if" comes into this situation!! What if he don't mean what he said? What if he means the idea 180 degrees away from his? What if I hurt him after laughing madly? What if that gives him the wrong impression that I hate/dislike him? What if goes on....

- I'll never get a piece of answer.. we're both not initiative. Won't it better to stay in this state.. playing see who's not initiative game and who's the survival?? Cruel but the magical process is what you can't miss.

- I look back the day when I was looking for the exit.. No, I'm actually looking for you!

- Holding the cell on my left hand, busy directing and giving directions, ahead was a blind corner. I thought of walking out albeit before I could, I saw a smile.

- You appear in front.

- Luckily, I'm not on the street ; in front was a blind corner.. If not, I'll be hit and unfortunately smashed.. I see no smiles by then. It could be tears.. No multilation!! Promises were made. No multilating yourself for me. It hurt as much as just seeing it.

- We're important.

P.S: In life, there are different important people on the different scale.. I've mentioned 2 different important peopel in life I can't miss.

you're being missed.

yes, i know.

thanks for telling.

thanks for asking if I miss too.

Love me if you dare

2005-03-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

Love me if you dare

- Someone said I played the life version of love me if you dare.

- I'm quite sure I don't. Certainly, we're both important people in our hearts. Of course I love ZUs. Don't you?

- I remembered the days when the ZUs haven't exist. I see myself turning up for the outings with the guys.

- We soon form the few of us outing every time. *3 - 4 little zus* My girl friends ain't that close with them and I can't possibly bring them along at that time.

- We chill. We fought. We had fun.

- Could you believe? We got so close together and nothing is between us or just purely buddies?

- Let me say some things.. Not everyone would believe that. They'll come up with they own theory that whoever likes whoever in the beginning but only found that they ain't compatible that's why they ended up as friends.

- NO.

- None of that sort. We got together as friends and only found *some/few* that maybe you are the one. No one can avoid that.. we of the same norms, shared the best memory feels for each other. I love zus again.

- I cherish everything. We're close till the stage where I don't see anyone else outside my clan having such relationship.

- Proud. Yes, I am.

- My ex-schoolmates. Ex-classmates. Buddies. Zus.

- We all have our own others friends but we still remain strong. Almost meeting out at every important occassion. Our stay over once a year, x'maz day, still remains. Celebration for new year still around.

- It's hard to find people of the same frequency. I'm totally cool with them. We go to the point of accepting each other's shortcoming. We DON'T/NEVER quarrel. In a big clan of over 10++, we DON'T HAVE anything big to quarrel. Misunderstandings are unavoidable but it comes less frequent than tsunami does.

- Love me if you dare brush across me when we start darign each other. Hmph~ I'm still sure that that day won't arrive. We're still as important and forever important.

- He's just not the one.

- If you would ask, whose important besides myself and family, it would be the zus.

- Love me if you dare ; la vie en rose.

Candles in the wind

2005-03-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

Candles in the wind

- 13 letters that brings out a big(?) occassion.

- People call it the sweet 16th. Then the whatever 17th.. so, what's for 18th?? Sexy 18th!!??

- I've crawl, roll, walk, run, skip, hop, glide(?) through my life of 18 years.. *not that today is my birthday*

- I should ask what have I done? Nothing much.

- I crap my life through. I saw prodigy at the age less than 10 making things big. I saw teens of my age being successful in whatever they're doing. I turn obviously GREEN.

- I dreamt about the day when I could make it big. When will the day arrive and how will it start off?? Probably it will never happen to me..

- Someone told me that if I aim on the moon, even if I wasn't able to land on it, I'll fall among the stars. How true is that??

- It's always the same old way of wishing someone happy birthday..

Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

- I feel kinda retarded. =X

Passion, dreams & reality

2005-03-25T12:44:00.000+08:00

Passion, dreams & reality

- Can we actually divide all this 3? Perhaps Passion and dreams are correlated but reality often act as a opposing force against it.

- Thinking of passion, talking about dreams, what do you have in mind? CEO in some listed company? Top notch formular 1 racer? Famous people in the world? Noble prize winner?

- I would love to be either one of the above. I live my life once and it's only once that I have come across much more passion and dreams. Reality tied me down.

- It's always mentioned by people with great dreams but of no/little/insignificant effort that dreams are easy to be dreamt about but not easy to turn it into reality.

- Hell true. What can I do with my both hands determine what I gonna have. God gave us the limited time and energy. We need to sacrifice some alternatives in life to attain what we wanted most. However, do I know how to rank them? Or do I know how to start off??

- I've come a long distance. At least I feel so. Coming from a humble family with not much inspiring stories or experience to learn from, I got to search for my own dreams. Unlike some other kids whose family are well educated in terms of performing arts/visual arts.

- None of my family members know how to appreciate arts. I think it's okay because at times, I really love the word individuality. They dislike the music I play over the speakers, they don't know how to appreciate instrumental music, and of course so on.

- I found my own way in life. I discover what I like. Exploit another me living. It will be obsolete to be living without dreams or for a reason. No motivation will push you on for the next day.

- Your family can't provide you with the dream.. You've to do your part. Your dream maybe 360 degrees off theirs.

- I'm proud to say that I love what I've found. It may be tough on the learning journey but it will be fun. I love the encouragement/at least no disapproving voices I got from my family.

- A great leap after my beloved violin got onto my hands. I wanted piano but hmph~ just too afraid that I won't want to continue and it will be wasted. Violin in any way is much cheaper.. so try it out first. Wish me luck. See~ money = reality and reality tied me down or else I would have gotten a piano in my house.

- I hate the useless side of me. Especially when I'm doing nothing. Argh~ the O level's holiday sucks. I'm totally useless. The job I engage in wasn't what I want. All I could feel is just loneliness in the holiday. No determination to move on.. I cried before I slept. I remembered the days. But it got SO much better during the trip to visit my aunt. I see/look, learnt, and pretty more. Not that stressful.

2005-03-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

Bm0408

- Went to my class chalet, 3days 2 nights. But I stayed for 2days 1 night.

- Nothing great about it that worth much blogging.

- The "ah da ji" reminds me of *lolx* my friend. He needs some "ah da ji" soon.

Violin

- Hmph~ darling is here. Lolx..

- Quite nice. I like it's bronzy brown shades.

- Shall play around laterz.

Ego-ism spills

2005-03-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

Ego-ism spills

- Everyone on the whole wide world can stand his point of view ; not me.

- I'm not eating those pieces of shit he left behind.

- Look at the way he do his things. Mad.

- Yellow ribbon for the ex-convicts. A jailbird, forever a jailbird. Stay locked inside forever. He said.

- That every piece of word ain't fair. They may have done something wrong in the past but there is always a chance/opportunity for them to learn from their mistakes.

- I believe in chances. If they ain't anyone willing to give them the opportunity to prove that they've learnt he right thing, they'll will be just as hopeless.

- You think you're alwasy right. Slim boy, fat head, empty shell.

Fox sales person.

2005-03-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

The day..

- I know I fall in love..*blushes*

- A normal shopping day but lotsa things pleases me hell lot.

- The fox sales person was damn nice. How sweet. *think back*

- I asked if I could use NIRC number to verify that I'm a wisma vip but he said I couldn't.

- I got no choice because I like that top and I think it's okay to pay that little bit more.

- When I'm ready to pay up for my apparel, he asked if I've left my card at home. Ya~ of course. However, he's too sweet to give my the discount. This is so thoughtful. By the way, his name is Ghim Soon.

- I realised that a lot of male salesperson are really nice today. = ) I'm SO happy. Lolx.. Others great attitude brightens my day.

- That guy who ran pass me when I was walking home alone, was cute. *I seldom praise people*

- Yeah~ I bought something for my friend. My buds who went shopping with me knows who I'm giving it to. Lolx.. it's meant to be a secret.

Shoot me

2005-03-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

Shoot me

- There is nothing great about holiday now. The ones I yearn to be with, not around.

- It won't make a difference now. I want to clear my sunset painting someday near.

- Buy some materials if I need and of course get more rest.

- It's tiring when you know you need to 'entertain' people of different frequency.

Prince Charming

- Momo taught me some stuff and I decided to imagine the best man ever that I could ever imagine.

- Musically incline or can be replace by other talents like fine arts/painting + sculpting. It's an enjoyable thing to learn from your spouse.

- A food gourmet. It will be nice to be out on dinner with someone who knows how to love food and not forgetting a wine expert. It will be how cool..

- Decisive leader. He can be indecisive with little matters like what color shall I wear today but he must be decisive in major decision making. Decisive in this sense doesn't means rush decision taken.

- Must be unique. He can't be those who loves chicken thigh because OTHERS said that is tender and juicy. He must have his own ideas. I won't like a guy if he's too dependent on someone or something. He got to have his own idea and a view of his own.

- Talent and knowledge can't escape.

- playful yet sincere. It will be nice if we can engage in intelligent topic but of course interesting stuff with lotsa humor.

- I can't think of any now. Let's see.. in the past, ancient man used to love ladies with talent ranging from music, chess, calligraphy and drawing.

- As for me, music = 1/4 bucket filled *where is my violin!! It's making me mad*.

- Chess = 1/4 *since I don't know how to play chinese chess and the chess played in Hikaru no go. I can only play Otello but I played for the sake of playing not winning thus not using those strategies due to lazy brains*

- Calligraphy = 1/4 *I used to learn it and can see that the teacher loves me because he make a chinese poem for me using my name and crave a chinese stamp for me!!*

- Drawing = 1/2 *I like drawings but when my mood is not there, I can't do anything about my passion*

- Upon, reviewing my little knowledge on those above, I think I don't deserve such a good partner. TT______TT but i yearn for someone knowledgable. I'm all so sad now. What makes me stupid? I suppose it's lazi-ness.

Finally it's over

2005-03-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

Finally it's over

- 1 week of study break ; gone. 4 days of examination ; gone.

- If you think time flies, I think it's the otherwise. I see it passing in the speed of light, burning as it brush across the air.

- 1 week of hardwork, including lotsa break time. 4 days of torture, including those break time again.

- All gone. Like the wind it pass me by. A sense of relieve.

Hints

- I'm kinda blur. I hope the hints I got from him is what I've interpreted.

- No initiative to ask or do anything. Both of us. As long as I know he meant that it's me.

- How I wish it's clearly interpreted instead of what I saw but nevermind.. as long as I know it's true.

Tell Laura I love her.

2005-03-16T14:33:00.000+08:00

Tell Laura I love her.

Laura and Tommy were lovers

He wanted to give her everything

Flowers, presents and most of all, a wedding ring

He saw a sign for a stock car race

A thousand dollar prize it read

He couldn't get Laura on the phone

So to her mother Tommy said

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura I may be late

I've something to do, that cannot wait
He drove his car to the racing grounds

He was the youngest driver there

The crowed roared as they started the race

'Round the track they drove at a deadly pace

No one knows what happened that day

How his car overturned in flames

But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck

With his dying breath, they heard him say

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to cryMy love for her will never die

And in the chapel where Laura prays For Tommy who passed away

It was just for Laura he lived and diedAlone in the chapel she can hear him cry

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to cry

My love for her will never die

Tell Laura I love her.....

- I wonder if there are any Laura and Tommy around.

- Can't stop wondering. If Tommy is still alive would we said that their love is beautiful..

Muddy-OOO

2005-03-15T17:48:00.000+08:00

Muddy-OOO

- Since you been gone~ *shouting like kelly does*

- I'm feeling lonely too. TT_______TT

- Everything feels SO wrong without you. Especially that you've always been there.. from shopping to school to lunching and movies!!!

- I swear I'm not here to nag/complain. Just wanna clear up the mess inside me. I feel so ___________ *don't know how to explain* when I received your misssed call. A time when you needed to talk.

- I've got nothing good to offer. Be it words or object. But the most important thing now is to of course get well soon and get on with life. There are much tougher problems in life awaiting for us at the junction. It's either we won or we're defeated by it.

- I do agree that saying is much easier than going through it. We, as friends, walk beside you to make sure that you continue walking. We can't walk for you. There is no way we can ever walk your life for you.

- Take a rest in some point of life, look back .. but always remember to get on the track again.

- Hope to see you soon and of course shopping!!!

Soldier

2005-03-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

Soldier

- Nope. I'm not listening to Eminem.

- A call that diverts everything from ownself back to the environment.

- Dealing with finals feels like going on a war. I'm the warrior killing all questions. Either I'm injured by them or I deal it with my little fingers.

- With the on going tension high, my shield is now gone.

- Wish me luck. I need tons. Especially now.

- I love accounts!!!

Home alone

2005-03-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

Home alone

- Perhaps, this is what others yearn but not me at this moment.

- Parents went out for a function, sister just left the house, leaving me home alone.

- The arrival of tomorrow, brings me the first paper, Microeconomics. I don't really remember the stufffffff.

- -______- I can feel the meaning of breathless. Heart skipping. Aimless.

- Mugging.

Mirror Image - dvt

2005-03-12T15:23:00.003+08:00

Mirror Image - dvt

- People walking with fast pace, flew pass me. Tension running high as finals are near. Sitting alongside the tea house, sipping away the finest of the tea leaf that could be provided. I'm greedy.

- Looking at the lady with a piece of seductive brownie -- black humour, I surrendered. I allow myself to be seduced by it. Force my way through the counter just to get a piece but I only find out that..

- It wasn't what I want.

- I can't comprehend. It's nice to know that. I would like to laugh out loud if it's something else. Holding onto the brownie, it's heavenly. The taste unleash the past. The formidable force pull me back. I saw somebody familiar. The feeling was good but not till I know what's happening.

- A start that might allows everyone around to burst into laughters but uh huh not me. I just can't do it. Nothing forcing me not to laugh.

- The brownie was alright. I threw it away not of its taste but it's not the time I want to have it now. I shall visit the cafe another time.

Amnesia

2005-03-11T15:14:00.000+08:00

Amnesia

- As soon as Insomia had stopped bothering me, here comes Amnesia.

- Down on a cold I am, I need tablets and water. By walking a thousand miles from my room to the kitchen I got myself a glass of water but let me stop by the washy first.

- Happy walking back to my sweetie room, I found somehting amiss. -_____- shit i got to walk another thousand mile back to retrive my water.

- What am I doing in the washy again!!?? Amnesia. My glass of water remains unmoved on the table NOT in tha washy!!!!

- Boo~ My the cold get lost/out asap. I need some rest.

Alucard

2005-03-10T13:52:00.000+08:00

Alucard

- Call me the Great Alucard. Waking up in the middle of the night, GOOD MORNING~ Bon jour my friend. *scratch my head* Erm~ I'm a french Dracula. *holding on to a glass of red .. ~~wine~~ blood.

- Played around by the finger tips of Insomia. I lead a hard life. TT____TT Perhaps I should turn the clock the other way round. while others are having exam, I'll be sleeping and I'll do my papers 12 hours later.

- Seeing the reality marching towards me, hopefully I won't pee in my pants. It will be a 4 days drilling.

Alucard Casino

- Welcome to my world greatest Alucard casino that sucks blood. *not the point* Thinking of the upcoming projects ur little island is still discussing and about to implant, I think my Alucard bloody casino is better.

- My leftovers, can be donated to the hospitals for those who needed blood badly. BUT just look at the poor man whom fly off his building thinking that he could just run away from his gambling debts.

- When he was alive, he couldn't make himself big and appear at the front page or news. Due to a hefty 100,000$SGD of gambling debts, he killed his family of 4 including himself.

- Future is ahead of his son and daughter. He brought all this to himself and he should be responsible to his own act NOT his family. He can't drag his family to hell with him!!! It's not fair. I pity him not I don't. if there is that someone there to stop him gambling, there won't be such incident.

- Now, I wonder if the Casino project is still going to be on. Mr Lee, he rejected lotsa of "excuses" of putting the idea off. Me too, believe that it belongs to the responsibilty to your own. However, NOT NOW. It seems like gambling is addictive.

- Kills not only the gambler but the family. Ya~ Lee could easily said that there are many forms of gambling available in this island.. Adding a Casino doesn't means that people won't visit the Turf club or etc. They'll just happily increase their "capital" to increase their enjoyment!!!

- The Islamic leader voice out that there they don't promote gambling thus not supporting the Casino project and hope Lee would put off the idea. Hmm~ not that I'm bias or racist. Malaysia and Indonesia have Casino too. I saw malays workign in Genting!! They're seen as the "malay" countries. *note that I don't assume everyone there is islamic*

- The thing is that we see Las Vagas as a duck that laids golden egg. The profit earn from this activites. We all can see the temptation of it but look at the influence .. Though it's not included in the national's GDP but we all know that GDP has never been an accurate measure.

- What's the for Mr "Yeo"?? *previous president/brother in law's godmum's relative* to come out with Esplanade, the city of art?? *I call it the city of art myself* It's to bring more SG'reans to come closer with arts. If PM Lee gonna get a Casino to counter attack Arts with Gambling, I proudly announce that Gambling won.

- Who doesn't know how to gamble?? We would rather this people turn there time into hardwork for there sector, happy moments with family/friends, meaningful time for learning/travelling rather than spend it in a few minutes in the Casino. Oh ya~ you may think otherwise like how about a windfall in the Casino?? If it's that EASY to win, LasVages won't have become a city of art now.

- I know Old Lee has never supported the idea. Being a well respected Minister Mentor, he has always been a wise leader. His parents was addicted to gambling too.. Hence, I assume/suppose that he didn't bring up such ideas in his leadership times is due to the bad influence. I'm standing on the disagree corner.

- I hate the idea of gambling especially when it becomes addictive or even like the case in Tampines.

Task-avoidance

2005-03-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

Task-avoidance

- Shot me right at the head. Task avoidance symptom running high in me.

- The damn thought of exam comes about revision. While the process of revising comes about the fact of exam. I should commit small crime like scratching people's car. Small crime is also a crime. So, I may landed up in jail instead of examination hall. *applause*

- I don't mind studying. The fact of exam scares me.

- I've lotsa to say but not much word to use.

Back

2005-03-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Back?

Shall see what happen after exams.
Wish to tranform everything here into abstract spoofing.

L found someone. *sounds like deathnote huh*
This is the second someone I heard in this 4 years.

I like what's happening.
exams aside.

Lemony's in town.
Quite different from my imaginary.
Perhaps it could be all like HP, a disappointment.
Especially to a fangirl.
*phew~ i hate reading HP but NOT watching*

I'm all SO sleepy all this while.
Not too late to realise how comfortable a bed could be.

My Birthday

2005-01-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

誕生日わおめでと。

Holiday

2004-10-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

Holiday

holalala... I'm on holiday.

Everyday is SO joyous!!!

Lolx...

Hiatus

2004-09-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

- H I A T U S -

No mood

2004-09-18T01:47:00.000+08:00

I've got NO mood to blog.

O__O

2004-09-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

Olympic

2004-08-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

Athens 2004 Olympic rawks~!!~
So, MUST stay tune man.
Support all competitiors especially Team SG.

Team Singapore, I believed that you've done your best!!!

Poilitical change over

2004-08-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

Let's create more dreams, hope and faith for the new political change over.
Giving the new cabinet members more support and confidence for a better future.

Happy Birthday SINGAPORE

2004-08-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Singapore!!!!

=)

The Village.

2004-08-07T15:47:00.000+08:00

Went to watch the village with a couple of people. That show wasn't as great as they advertise it. Pretty lame when it's nearing the end. Quite horrible when you get to know about the creature. So dumb. Lolx...

I give it a 2.5 stars. Watch it only during the weekdays if you've enough cash to spare. I've got too much cash to spare that's why i watch it during the weekends. =X *rubbish* Muahahahha...

Feeling quite sick yesterday. =( Flu. Cold. Whatever shit. Very tired as well... So I told JS that I'm not going BB too. We're sickos. Lolx... But eventually, Sat event was cancelled. Okay~ I got nothing to say becuase I'm not going.

Effective communication.

2004-08-02T12:29:00.000+08:00

Oh yea having this effective communication now which seems so ineffective to me. We're asked to go online then read up the elearn stuff regarding ICA.

What is there to read man.. -.-

I'm hungry. =X Idiot.

Mar is such a ~~flirt~~. Buahahaha..

She's beside meh... =X Ahahaha...

Early birds.

2004-08-01T10:39:00.000+08:00

][ Look at your clock and see what time is it now. Oh my god~ 10am+. Can you believe that I've woke up. Wah liaos.. wake up so early = waste time. -.-''' Can't get back to bed that's why I'm ranting here.

][ I don't wish to go Istana park but BB was kinda forcing. =( But I end off with her by saying something like.. BB, enuff. Yea~ very negative very bad. Evil me. I'm really dissapointed by you van. *Eve and BB always write or type van but BB will call me vanessa and Eve will call me nessa*

][ I miss Eve lah but I don't have the urge to see her. I knew that I'll tell her everything when I start to talk to her. Those nasty things that I didn't really want her to know. She'll just get worried and yea.. I didn't want that. When I see Eve, I feel okay~ to tell her things and that's why I always did. =X I don't know why. Prolly is because of how she talk to me. Lolx..

][ Another reason of not letting her to know is I'll remind myself how bastard I am to throw all things to my friend as they do have their own like. Yea~ I shut up. There isn't a need to tell her my blog either. I think she know much more than my blog tells. Known each other for 4 years and she's the best Scorpio. *david also* Oh yea~ david going to camp too~ enjoy.

][ I told BB that I want to stay home. Then, I said I want to study -- which is hell no. Next, my reasons getting more rubbish blah blah blah...

][ Unlike the new scorpios that barg in my life. Barney and BJ. Terrible you know. They make up the best scandalous pair on earth. =X too serious too evil. Not happy ar.. sounds familiar right?? Sue me lah. Lolx.. Potential backstabber was seen in their stars as well as they themselves but not a single bit of mysterious in Barney. Whatever the shit, I didn't want to continue spoofing.

][ Do I really hate Barney that much? Unspeakable but I know it's definitely not hate. Dislike. Not likely. but not well like.

][ When someone heard about you spoofing them, it hurts. I better be a evil monster covered with angelic mask now. Just for the better welfare of B&B. Muahahaha...

][ Kill me now. I still haven't touch my accounts and I have a high tendency of going to school without my accounts tutorial. =X i don't know how to do. Kill me with a samurai sword with quick and swift moves. Dying with something related to Japan maybe bring me to Japan next life?? Just don't throw me to Ethopia or Serri Leone. How you spell it. If I really ended up there, die lah can't even afford to buy food how to go Japan??

][ I don't want to stay here prolly the scorpios in SG hate me that's why lah.. Japanese scorpio may be much better. *fly to Japan* I need another holiday. I don't like SG. The more I spend here, the more I hate here. =X My homeland wasn't giving me the sense of belonging. I don't want national day but I want holiday.

][ I got cranky now. I'm hungry. Going without food makes me headache. GO TO HELL -- LIV. I love him. 8) I'm getting more cranky now and the things I've got here is I also cannot understand. If you can. good for you. If you can't, sorry lah no food leh.

][ Will continue when I have my food. =)

[] Sorry I'm still doing this without food. A sudden thought of my those days. Everything in my mind now was Mr Tan's dance. Before our graduation, my PE teacher didn't let us play games but we dance *is it Irish dance?* I miss it. His idea was to bring us closer cox we'll leaving each other. Awww... I got the VCD too he typed it down for all of us. How sweet how sweet. *candy floss* Lolx.. Very nice lah.

[] How ar.. I feel so.. don't know now. I don't want to watch the VCD. Don't want lah.. it will make it worst. In the VCD, not only we type down the dance but also some other things we do together as a class. =) So sweet lah. See how lah.. hungry now..

[] I feel so lost now. I don't know. This kinda feeling very strange. Is it due to the 'brewing' of boredom?? Haiya~ sians. I don't like this feeling. Luckily, it's different from those bad omen feel. Whatever the shit. God bless. Continue to be lost....

Japanese clubbie.

2004-07-31T14:50:00.000+08:00

][ So, wassup today!? Japanese club. The moment I woke up, I have this strong urge to message either Radz or Dine that I don't wanna go. Haizzz... But I still went. =X Force myself to wake up. The saddest thing on earth.

][ All about tradition dance. Kinda boring but after Natsu festival, traditional dance will not be entertained. Quite scary. >>.<<>

][ Oh yea~ I saw Eli and JM. =) But that was when I'm about to leave the school. So hungry!!!! Yeah~ have lunch at LJS with Radz. So sleepy.

][ I told BB that I'm tired so I didn't want to go out with her.. but when YY message to me asking if I wanna watch movie, I said anything. =X I'm not bias~ bu it's that she asked at the right time. Lolx..

][ Evaluation of the Japanese club :// Not too bad~ people there are quite daring. Erm.. quite boring with those traditional stuff but we'll more towards cosplay and singing in the later part. No eye candies. Gay. Muahaha... So, Mar, wanna join?? I'll be trying out SBM club too. =)

][ During the weekends, school is indeed QUIET. Very few people around. Quite good. At least you won't need to excuse me excuse me.. Muahahaha...

][ Update lata. Movie time. =) I'm tired. *O* Yawns.

[] Back. Watch Ella Enchanted with BB, YY *I rather call her Von because she's SO different from that monster YY in 0408*, JLO, JS and Faisal. *thumps up* By the way, Von will be gone for 5 days. Yea~ hope she'll enjoy her camp. =)

[] Had my dinner in Pizza's place. Having a wonderful time with my friends but the service sucks. Never visit pizza hut at Bukit Batok. It suckx. Hell bad and expect us to pay 10% service charge. Damn. We wanted half and hour for our nachos and 1 hour for our spagetti man. They only make our order for the spagetti after 40 mins. This totally shit. We had a good time entertaining ourselves in the restuarant. I got cranky when I'm hungry. This condition got worse now.

[] Weekend is always enjoyable but SHORT. Today is already Saturaday and tomorrow will be Sunday. Arrrr... I hate Sunday because Monday is nearing. =X Drag myself to school again. Frankly speaking, I don't like to go to school but when I'm in school, I enjoy it knowingthat OY, Mar, Radz and Dine will be there to bitch. Muahahaha....

[] Back to the movie thingy. I love Prince Charmont but I really dislike his curly hair. =X I love his eyes~ so beautiful. 8) *Mar~ go watch it with your guy becuase not only Ella is pretty Char is handsome too!!!! Eye candy -- MINE*

[] I'm feeling very bored. Not normal kinda bored. That type of bored which is beyond words can describe and i HATE this feeling. Making me so sick and tired. Help me~~~

[] I sorta fell down at home yesterday because I was jumping. Lolx... Clumsy. I hurt my feet yea~ still hurting. =X I'm an idiot.

Sentosa.

2004-07-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

][ They went to Sentosa today. *Mum, niece, sista and her husband* So, I told my niece that she'll expect to see 'lion', water and fire. Lolx.. And she goes.. I'm scared of fire. Muahahaha... She's purely 2 years old and may not even know what's fire I guess. =X

][ I didn't go. For only one reason -- LAZY. However, it reminds me when I was young. During weekends, me and my parents will go swimming, beach, cycling, shopping or zoo. Quite fun for that time but if it were to happen now, BORING AR!!!! >P

][ I hate accountings. It's making me mad. I understand nuts about what the lecturer is mumbling about. She can't teach and i can't learn. =X Fazed by the idiotic accountings. Can I erase / delete accounting from my module??

][ Dine said that my boyfriend is good looking. Muahahahaha... Yea yea~ Cute man. Lolx.. =) *fly fly fly over the moon*

][ I want to get married. I'm crazy. Ahahaha... Read an article about young marriage. Weee... I love that. How I wish I'll get married off to somebody at the age of 23-26. Muahaha... Then we shall lived with the oath we've taken when we married forever. Forever?? Yea~ happily ever after. Lolx...

][ Yea~ so I'll also be the mango. A mango the meows~ >,<>

][ While thinking of the sweetest and wonderful / magical days I'll lead after marriage, makes me fret of separation. Damn. Divorce rate are getting higher nowadays. Due to stress!? Lame lah~ who yearns to stay in Singapore?? =X Don't care~ I wanna live in a mountain. Who volunteers to be my neighbour??

][ Oh yea~ OY and Mar linked me right?? Make sure that it's safe. I didn't want Barney and Kids to read about my blog. I just want to make my selection. Barney shall be banish to hell if she found out my bloggy. *so evil but I like it* --- sounds familiar huh?? Sue me lah. =X

][ Please have the basic courtesy to ask before you link me. I didn't want my bloggy to be expose to any external threats. So scary. So terrible. So haunting.

][ Can anyone teach me how to sing the Barney song that goes... Barney is a dinosaurs and blah blah blah blah... I want to know. Muahahaha....

][ By the way, very few people are reading my blog so I can actually don't bother to ask. Newly re-open so quite isolated but I like it... Not happy is it?? Sue me lah. =X *there I go again~* I can conclude that Barney is a bad bad influence for Kids. Ban Barney in the whole world.

][ Tomorrow will be going for the Japanese thingy. So what?? Waste time lah~ cannot sleep. -.-''' Moreover, I still got the Istana thingy on Sunday ar... How ar.. Don't feel like going but Eve and BB are going. haiya~ I don't wish to think. I want a twin. Identical twin then she'll be able to help me attend all those nonsense.

][ Can't believe that I gonna waste my weekend just like that. I rather sleep through the whole weekend at least I make full use of it. =) I know I'll be happy. Lolx... Kinda sleepy.. >O *yawns*

おやすみなさ。・。・

Inferential Writing

2004-07-30T10:02:00.000+08:00

Inferential writing:// More free play in education.

More free play in education is a wonderful suggestion. At such a young age, they should be enjoying themselves and building up their happy childhood. While playing, they can also learn something like teamwork and able to build up better relationship with others. They may not know what they are doing but when they’re playing, they start to learn even though they didn’t know what the meaning of human relation is.

When you ask a child who is your friend, they will start listing out a few names they’re familiar with, together with a smile. They are ever so innocent and naïve as they’re not exposing to the cruelty of the society. In Singapore, most of us are seen as useless or up to nothing if we’re not holding on to a degree. In order to make a living and ‘please’ our boss, we are trained to be in the top school, the top class and be the top student.

Having so much stress bombarding our daily lives in the upper education, we can ‘happily’ announce to the Ministry of Education that we have completed our studies and able to serve the country and bring up the economy. To our own self, we can only continuously reminding ourselves that perseverance is the only vocabulary in mind. Taking a break is to see another goal and move on as soon as possible.

Having more free play implemented in our education system, students are able to exploit their hidden talent in every area and not restricted to studies and ‘memorizing skills’ only. As we can see from our society, more and more teenagers are committing suicide due to the stress given from school, family and not forgetting society.

Me myself, a student under the Singapore education system, see myself as a molecule in a tin can often shake up by studies and the pressure in tin can increases. Threaten to explode.

P.S:// My teacher said I wonder off too much. Yea~ I think I did. No mood to do her stuff so I wonder off lah. Lolx… Don't care arrrrrr... Muahaha...

Inferential writing:// More free play in education.

More free play in education is a wonderful suggestion. Kinder garden classes are set up to prepare them for primary education. It will make them feel easier to cope with the people and work there. In Civil and Moral education, we are taught that every one of us have a choice. We can chose to do this or that but in the Singapore education, I see myself doing work and taking up subject that I’m not even interested in.

If students were given a chance to choose what they like as a subject, they may be able to understand themselves in dept and enjoy themselves while studying or even burning the midnight oil. In Singapore, most of us are seen as useless or up to nothing if we’re not holding on to a degree. In order to make a living and ‘please’ our boss, we are trained to be in the top school, the top class and be the top student.

Interest in studies is very important. One with no motivation or interest usually won’t enjoy themselves but see themselves as a ‘salve’ of the education. Being trapped in the tedious work schedule given by the school, it’s better for us to go into what we like.

Having so much stress bombarding our daily lives in the upper education, we can ‘happily’ announce to the Ministry of Education that we have completed our studies and able to serve the country and bring up the economy. To our own self, we can only continuously reminding ourselves that perseverance is the only vocabulary in mind. Taking a break is to see another goal and move on as soon as possible.

Having more free play implemented in our education system, students are able to exploit their hidden talent in every area and not restricted to studies and ‘memorizing skills’ only. As we can see from our society, more and more teenagers are committing suicide due to the stress given from school, family and not forgetting society.

Me myself, a student under the Singapore education system, see myself as a molecule in a tin can often shake up by studies and the pressure in tin can increases. Threaten to explode.

P.S:// no mood. Sleepy.

][ Currently in the e-plaza doing nothing but blogging. Little ebiko~ exposed to the evil power of OY, Mar and Radz. =X Lolx.. Whatever the heck is, Barney sucks. She's totally irritating and nosiy. >P My only concern now is eh~ Marketing ICA 1. Gonna sumbit it in no time and I think mine is in a big mess. (_ _) At least I've done it. Muahaha...

][ Wassup in the weekend?? Today = Friday = Weekend. =) Happy but I've got nothing to do I think. Don't wish to go to the Istana thingy. Lazy lah. See my juniors perform is quite ok but Istana far far... even with transportation provided.

][ Please go to www.sbandb.com. Under NYP, you can actually spot a guy that looks like Takuya Kimura. Gawd~ If he's using Kimura's picture, I'm gonna smash his head INTO the wall. Yea~ it's INTO. NYP version of happy tree friends -- www.happytreefriends.com. I thik I'm hungry now. Lolx... Whatever~

][ I'm bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. =( It's gonna be Econs lesson soon. Penguin Chop. Funny. Muahahaha... Eat air lah.. HUNGRY. -.-

my dearest printer.

2004-07-29T20:16:00.000+08:00

][ How about speaking of today?? =P OY skipped school. Hopefuly, she'll go to school tomorrow with a medical certificate because a lot of warning letters have been issued to her. =X *85% attendence before debarment*

][ Statistic Project work group changes. No longer in the same group with OY. I'm grouped together with Radz, AQ and BJ's friend. *don't really like BJ & friends* But OY is together with BJ. Project title will be on smoking. Our project is not going too into smoking but just to collect some data on who is smoking, how old are they and how much they spend on ciggis. *are we pointing our fingers at Barney the smoker??*

][ Arrrrr... ICAs. -.-''' Everything is coming and I'm still 'enjoying'. Very lazy lah. Haizzz... by the way, I guess Barney is trying to earn our money. She offer her help to photocopy some studying material for us and it's quite expensive. So, today I went to photocopy it myself in the library. Wah~ so much cheaper. I think she can earn about $1++ from everyone. =X

][ Yeah~ happy. My printer started working again. Lolx.. I can't print a single shit yesterday and tomorrow, I must hand in my Marketing ICA1. =) Happy happy. Oh ya~ I paid $0.40 for the overdue book. Muahaha...

][ I also want to watch THE VILLAGE. Burrrrr.... Damn Johnson. He sent that disgusting thingy to me when I was drinking my yakult. Then I turn to my mum.. mummy.. mummy.. Lolx.. my mum was like huh?? where did the music come from. Shits lah... okay lah.. nevermind. (",)

][ I shall give up my hot seats to my mum. =) Jya~

[] My time to take over. So, ask me what have I done when I'm away.. Nothing. So sadded. No efficency. Slacking. Haixxxx... I feel like taking photo stickers all of the sudden. I don't know why. Feeling very bored I guess. So sad.

[] Whatever the case is, I want to correct something I said. Barney is a Scorpio as well as BJ. Both are the ones I dislike. Yup~ Initially, I thought Barney was a Nov Saggi and so it makes me wonder how come I can't mix around well with nov saggi. Now, then I know that Barney is a scorpio. *irritating*

[] They are the Scorpios that I find irritating. Barney thought she's smart. Even if she is, I'll denied it totally. Remember that caps don't look at results for smart-ness??? She's a failure. She's self centered, boastful, arrogant, attention seeking, act and whatever. While BJ is boring, backstabber and yet to be exploit. =) I used to be in the same group as BJ during Statistic. Muahahaha... but now, with BJ's friend. =( They're a bunch of unpredictable people so better be careful while dealing with them. *over protective*

[] Just to add on, I went to Food Junction for lunch and I don;t like to see this guy. He gave me the a feeling of one of my ex-classmate. I think he wore the same pair of jeans ever since I first saw him. He got that everything should be oversize and I'll look cool in it style. *totally wrong* He didn't change his bag -- minor. I don't know why I just don;t like him when I first saw him in the auditorium. I'm bias. In simple terms, he's just too suay.

[] In the same place, a guy caught my attention. Oh~ sorry not him but his lip piercing. Lolx.. So cool. How I wish I have the guts to pierce but it looks ugly on a girl's face. Yea~ I think it's cool but not nice. *after reading my own post, I wanna say that all I did in school wasn't looking at guys. But I really dislike that super suay guy~ all sorts of body piercings and tattoos usually caught my attention.*

[] My school guys are pure gays. =X I'm bad / evil but I think most of them are. Lolx.. but I think some of the girls are quite cool and quite a few very tall ones in there. Yea~ tall... So scary. My mama is one of the tall ones. =P

When blue moon double slap me.

2004-07-28T14:51:00.000+08:00

][ I'm at home 'enjoying' since 2pm. The shortest day throughout the whole week. =) Wasn't a fantastic day. =_= By the way, I should have reach home earlier but we had lunch in school. Mar and I took the same train home and we miss a couple of train because we were talking. Lolx... So dumb.

][ Firstly, OY didn't turn up. Secondly, I wore the same top with a girl in my class. *damn embarrassing* Thirdly, Barney was trying to highlight to the class that we ostracise her and she was trying to suan us. *luckily, she didn't have the chance to do it on me or I'll slap her!!!* Lastly, I received a warning letter from school. o.O

][ It says that I was absent from Econs lesson for 3 hours which make up to 7%. Gawd~ I only need another 8% more to get debar from exam!!! Holy shit... I promise that I didn't skip lessons!! I went for sub orientation then another one, I don't know what happen. So, I told MsHoe about it and she say it's okay. *phew~* I won't be that stupid. I rather spend some money to get a medical certificate and get things done with. Muahaha....

][ Still haven't touch my Marketing tutorials yet. Feeling so tired. TT__TT The politics in my class getting worst. There was this guy in my class who is quite loud but but but he don't dare to talk to me or even say a hi to me. -.-''' I was outside the shopping arcade when he walk pass looking at me as if I can understand from his face or eyes that he's saying see ya to me. >P Ok~ whatever... the main thing is still Barney, trying to make things difficult for Dine.

][ I'm going to the Japanese music thingy with Radz and Dine on this coming Saturday. My Saturaday!!!! T_T I guess we'll leave in the ealry afternoon. I hope so. I want to rest and lotsa tutorials and ICAs coming up. Stress... =(

[] Remember that I did mention about the dream that makes me moody... and I knew that something bad for me will come true!? It came true. In those previous entries, I assume that it was the bad thing that was about to kill me off when I'm feeling so moody. It was came true. Whenever I feel moody and sad for no reason, something bad will appear in front of me the next day or so~

[] Arghghghg... I want to kill myself!!! That stupid printer is so arrogant. I needed it's service and it went down on me. Shitsss... What should I do now?? Tomorrow I need to get my tutorial ready and now how?? I'm such a lame shit lah. I lost my Statistical text and now.. that stupid printer. Nothing went well for me. Forever. I wonder which evil monster is swearing and cursing at me. Making things difficult for me in my whole life. Dumb ass.

[] The worst have not been realise yet. I was working in my room when I found this book. Should be overdued by 27/07/04 but it's still lying on my table. Lolx.. I don't even know what will happen. Debar me from exams?? Rubbish.

[] I don't feel like going to the istana thingy with my friends. It reminds me of what's in the previous post. *fcuk it* Moreover, I have something on Saturday and Sunday should be like a studying day for me since tutorials and ICAs are killing me off at a time. Dedicate more time for myself and more stupid brain.

Business Software Application Class.

2004-07-27T19:15:00.000+08:00

][ This is rubbish. I'm in my BSA class and erm~ sufing here. =X I guess I'm too overuled by emotions all the while. Things wasn't good at all. Yucky but now it was kinda alright. I was discussing with my friends and yea.. Better than ever.

][ I guess I being an idiot everywhere. Yea~ I want to apologise. Because I'm feeling GOOD now. Vanessa, How do you feel today??!!! I~~~ F----E----E-------L GOOD!!!!!

][ I know it's hurting to say I hate all. I lack of a few nerves!!! Eh~ whatever the fact is, I really hate everyone at that point of time. Yea yea.. always thinking that I'm SO right. Blehs..

][ Cheers. Tomorrow shall go shopping with sista since a bag is needed!!! Lolx.. Had lotsa fun in the library with my friends. We were talking about entertainment thingyies. Oh yea... Mar said that we shall go skating one of these days. Weee... I love skating.

][ Shall update lata. =) I'm I wrong for typing all those thingyies down?? Arrrr.. don't know. I don't care. I'm not. >P

][ I assume now is late enough. I ot home at about 11pm and I'm tired + hungry. Every Tuesday is a day when hunger took over me and makes me so cranky. Lolx... OY saw me updating my site during the lesson but she didn't say a thing. How nice.

][ Not going out tomorrow because sista wasn't free. So, I shall get my Marketing tutorial and ICA done. =) So stress. Heard that there will be a few ICAs coming up but don't know when. Haiz.. Whatever the shit, I'm feeling negative now.

Ago

2004-07-27T10:11:00.000+08:00

][ I wasn't okay at all yesterday and not today as well. I degrade all friends to my needs and see myself as a need too. Everything we did, I did or they did seems so superficial. Our friendship is just a surface homework we did to keep ourself accompanied. We halloween didn't you know that???

][ I was sitting on the sofa, complaining to mum that I was 'angry' --- unspeakable --- I told her bit by bit... she said why cares. Of course I took every word and even see all my idiotic friends making full use of me because they need companionship. Tarot card was right. I really feel like forgetting my past. Whatever. Starting from the day I stepped into that school. I hate everyone. Reminding myself of how friends are needs make me totally turn off. Families won't ostracize you but you'll never know for zu-family which is make up of friends = needs.

][ Whatever the shit you people leave in me, makes me cry a bucket. Damn shit... Friends are useless. At least I can say I don't want them now. Yea~ the effect last till now. Prolly forever to make the tarot prediction came true!!!! I was so damn accurate.

][ Okay~ you all don't know me well and all the while I've been making use of you too. I need friends to have fun and not sorrow. We know each other by surface and name. Who cares about connection and ties?? Who ever did?? I'm just bullshitting in my previous previous previous entry. All in the past.

][ I wonder how her friends feel when they read that entry. Reflects a total lonesome and selfish soul of hers. Prolly all was lead by a loveless past. I wonder. I don't sympatize. She didn't want any sympathy. Dedicating Only Lonely to her. All I should do is to follow her because she's right. Yea~ easy and simple task.

][ Tell PBB that I'm going to swim with her every weekend. Who has got the time and mood to spend every single weekends with her. Like helll.... Highly dangerous mood ... It last till now... and don't know when. Satanic power are evil and strong. What comes around goes around. Hey people fortunately or unfortunatley and you got to know this, don't show your emotions they are plain useless. I won't appreciate it. Learn from her.. it's in the fashion we MUST be alone.

][ Friends are just social needs... See me as your need. I'll be glad. Yea yea.. Now I can really feel how BB will feel when I spill things to her.. Like when YY was trying to me that her relationship with thousands of guys sucks during my lunch, I was totally disturbed. So, everyone will detest me when I said I'm not okay. I'm a irritant myself. I'm so idiot. I feel like a GFN.

Whatever you call it.

2004-07-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

][ Lauren was pissed by what I've wrote. I don't blame her. We're brought up in different family. My mum will blame me for giving up my life. To me, suicidal is a no no. I only live once. If Lauren is right, Mar and OY wouldn't have stop me today!!!!!

][ I was in the accounting class.. I got some of my answers correct but I can't get what Mr chee was trying to in the 2nd approach so I got frustrated and started using my pen knife to cut my hair.. Ends are dry. Whatever.

][ OY said stop. Ok~ I did for a couple of mins but back to it AGAIN. Mar was like are you okay!!?? Yea~ I'm alright. Itchy hand lah.. trying to clean it with my fingers... while they thought I'm into cutting myself...

][ Whatever I'm in the mood of unspeakable now. So, I assume that somebody or quite a few was trying to tell me that I should go commit suicide because I can't really understand Mr chee's stuff. Ok~ I go.

][ At least he has got the same view as I do. He told me that I can't just die... You'll never know what will happen to you when you're dead because no dead person ever did a recount on it.

][ I'm feeling so sucky now.. No matter who's dying, DON'T come to me or I'll tell you that death is our only choice. When I'm dead, I don't even wish to see you people. Dirts!!! I hate all the unitians now. Yea~ ALL!! I don't care... So, if I'm trying to die, DON'T stop me because you've got no rights to do so... I don't care. Emotion overrules me.

][ Yea~ I enjoy cutting, hurting myself and it's all none of your business. I shall be like a pessimist like everyone does since being optimistic is not a character of a cap. Moreover, pessimist always think that they are right so... trend right?? Follow them loh. All go to hell. Since someone have proven me wrong like I try to prove that Newton's law is wrong, I should should die loh. Somemore death is a right thing. What ever the heck. I'm so sorry Newton. I was wrong. All my fault.

P.S:// I shall dedicate Go To Hell -- LIV to all fcukers and pessimist in the whole world!!! You people makes me... What comes around, goes around. *hatred -- the only virtue I have*

Name changed says:
okok...
Name changed says:
listen to me dear...
Name changed says:
tink the person who wrote all those things is an immature personnel
Name changed says:
i noe it bothers when some1 speaks ill of u..
Name changed says:
but try to ignore her
Name changed says:
cos she's juz a screwed up gal
Name changed says:
who dun have a clue abt how wonderful life is abt
Name changed says:
she's juz a loser
Name changed says:
maybe some oddbit who is being isolated by every1
Name changed says:
so her words weigh no value
Name changed says:
hmm, dun be bothered by her kay?
Name changed says:
wat u said is more correct
Name changed says:
u're in the rite!
Name changed says:
u're more sensible

][ Oh dear~ If her words doesn't matter, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be that UNSPEAKABLE. I take every word to heart. People hates me because I'm not a fashion follower. I should follow them and set up a suicidal club!!! Lameshitttt....

][ I believe I'm TOO fat. I can't even make a proper cut. asshole.. Too fat. A scar that don't bleed means nothing and I'm not doing the right thing. I should exert more force so that my wounds bleed. Who cares about the contaminated pen knife as long as it is sharp enough. I believe I'm doing the right thing. In the fashion what. Idiot. One shouldn't stop one from doing things that are right. Name changed is different so if I tell him I'll be gone case. Name changed think I'm right.. but I assume I'm wrong. I'm always wrong. Always in the wrong.. Blame me whenever shit is on your face. All my fault. I must be a successful saddist. People love saddist. Saddist is in the fashion now. Follow the saddist because they rules.

Name changed says:
relax le ba
Name changed says:
wat time's ur lesson tmr?

][ No way.. relax!!?? I seldom get so high why should I relax. It took me hundred years to get so high.. and it took me forever to forget it.. Sorry forgiveness is not within me. I hate xanga. I hate blogging. I hate unitians. Haiya whatever. Hate me.. I love my hate fans and I enjoy reading hate mails.

blardee helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll says:
but lesson till 10pm tmr
Name changed says:
wah... so late wor...
Name changed says:
not safe to go home on ur own wor
Name changed says:
haha i send u la even safer!

][ Dear.. It's not even safe in the virtual world loh. In the real world, what do you expect?? Not happy, commit suicide lah.. *of course I didn't reply all that.. I merely type it down here. I was asked to relax and I said I try so I got to try when I'm typing in the conversation box* Yea~ only that conversation box. I'm not okay AT ALL. Not at all. Crazy.

][ Thinking in dept, it makes me feel more and more like a blardee hell trying so hard to express myself to my so-call bestfriend. There is no such need. I won't and I swear I won't even make that little effort to tell anything. Since friends are see as a need, I shall put them under my needs and not wants. When I need companionship, I go to them. Yea~ that's all. I'm seen as a burden as a pest to others when I say out how I feel thingy.. Why should I then. Make it a better place and shut up. I promise I won't say anymore to anyone. As far as unitians are concern. I hate all. Even if you're dying, it will be like none of my business.

][ I hate it. We are all alone. In the fashion must learn!!! I'm alone too. I've got no friends. I need people to sympatize me. Like hellll... At least I can say I don't need anyone here. I don't need to confide. Ever since when did I need it?? Ionly only trying to make things better by saying it out never will I know it gonna be disturbing. I knew it now... I'll stop then. In another words, I need a blog and not YOU!!! Blardee helll... You don't need me because everyone should be alone. Then everybody's nick in IRC should be lonelyboi , lonelygal or alone... yea~ the world you created. I live.. since you think that I shouldn'd be living in the world I am... -- happy shouldn't be in my dictionary--

][ Then, I should blame you for making me so negative. Yea... I'm blardee... you evil. I'm toilet while you're toilet bowl. Blardee bitch. Living in your own sad world thinking every action of yours are right and everyone should live in manner you lived in. Make you happy loh.. Since I'm always wrong. The blardee satanic master rules. Satanic master first lesson is commit suicide = courageous act. We must learn but how come master don't have the guts to do so. Dumb ass...

][ Yea... 2 blardee scorpios trying to ruin my life. Since I'm always wrong, follow your blardee footsteps and be a super saddist + backstabber loh. Since friends are needs and not wants.. You think you studying marketing ar.. defining needs and wants is it??? Not happy ar.. GO TO HELL LAH!!!! Blardee fool... Naive. Ostracise me loh. Go ahead. We should be alone what... Help me to be alone by ostracising me... Blardee arse.

][ I don't care if I'm being overboard with this. I'm getting high. Shitty. lame ass.... who cares about you dying?? I don't mind attending your funeral since we all should see this as a courages act. But how come the police still hand cuff the corpse huh?? I thought they should give out some medals or things like that to the courageous one??? Dumbo.

Actually.

2004-07-26T19:40:00.001+08:00

][ We didn't went to Mar's house and I was in the e-plaza *surfing and doing my e-tutorial* when I actually wanted to blog here.. Ranting about how bored the day was but i'll feel bad if they see me blogging but not giving them my URL. So, forget about it. =)

][ OY is so honest about her blog and she's damn hilarious. She wanted to watch Taeguki -- Won Bin and Jang Dong Gun, with us this wednesday and insisted that we all should watch it together. Heard that Taeguki is nice. OY evil~ persuade Mar to break up with her guy because they having too much trouble. Lolx..

Problem 1) I may be going out with my sista.

Problem 2) PBB told me not to watch movies with my friends because she didn't want to hear me say:// Huh don't watch this lah.. I've already watch it with my friends.

][ So, will my friends watch Taeguki?? I doubt so. No assuming. I don't know. I want to catch Mean Girls, Ella Enchanted and The confession of a Teenage Drama Queen. --- basically all teenage movies!! =P

][ I was playing with Tarot card thingy in the e-plaza. It says that I shouldn't forget about the old or the past. What does it means?? Friends, memories or what?? Rest assure.. I won't forget them both. Not easy to do so. Love ya!!!

Potential backstabber in my class --- BJ *scorpio* & friends *Leo, leo and unknown*

Potential Irritant in my class --- Barney *saggi*

][ I can accept irritant but not backstabber. It's sick okay~ I shall not elaborate. Sad stuff. Politics. Complicated.

P.S:// I haven't bathe yet. Muahaha...
Nah~ Tomorrow gonna be a long day. Shitsss... =*(

my 31st entry.

2004-07-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

Trying to test your eyes sight.
Ok~ I don't feel good now.
Vanessa, How do you feel today??
I~~~~ F---e---e---l BAD!!!
Oh.. I feel so bad I feel SO SO bad. =(

I don't know why. No songs can help me. Arghghg... Prolly I've been complaining about YY too much. RetributionS. I'm not happy. I feel so arggghhh.. I hate this feeling. Everyone that came talking to me seems so irritating today. Invincible irritating skills. Except for Chris. He's just being nice but no help. =X I need some good distractions. OY and Mar helped to a certain extend. =) Yeah~ I think this is the only rocking group I've in school together with my mummy's group but definitely not the group I used to hang with. Such a total nightmare. Shittsss... Speaking of nightmare, I had one. Unbelievable scary. I knew I cried while I'm sleeping but when I woke up, it still haunt me. I didn't cry then. Or is it my dream?? Freaky. If I were to recall what's in the dream again, it gonna make me cry a bucket again. *please don't come true*
I want to go somewhere else. So, don't disturb. Haiya~ what the heck. I don't want to sleep. Tomorrow got to drag myself to school again. At least when I reach school, I feel better or should I say when I meet my friends at the station, I feel better?? Haiya.. vex. They don't wish to go school either.. Everyone is dragging themselves to school and can you see our footprints on the ground?? Our dragging marks. -.-''' OY said we should go Mar's house and rot.
I love ya.
P.S:// I think I'm loving my BS more and more. Or is it that's why it makes me feel so unspeakable?? I need another weekend. I want to rest. Doing nothing the whole day. Not even thinking, eating or shitting. Just alone and nothing else.
Edit:// My new layout -- I love it. I still don't feel good. Whenever I have this feeling, something bad gonna happen soon. In less than a week's time. *don't come true* I mean if my dream really come true, I bet you can't see me again.. All I can do is pray. That dream is haunting / freako. Ok~ I know the word to describe how i feel now.. --- PEK CHEK!!!! --- Just don't let anything happen and I'll try not to complain how bad YY is not matter how she is or how she treat me. =) Whatever lah~ I'll do anything as long as it will not come true.. I'll even endure the pain of tatooing, the pain of donating blood or exchange the roles in my dream. I'll take over.. Don't let it come true or I'll chose to take over.
I don't wish to see my Dad die in front of me. The dream was so cruel. I saw him being knocked down by a car. I was semi awake and I can feel myself crying and eyes was puffy when I woke up. Stop shitting around, I'll take over Daddy. I don't mind though I know it hurts. Haiya,,, PEK ar... Tell me that it won't come true.
Don't let evil crept into my life. help me. I need help. 8(

Big waves.

2004-07-25T15:37:00.000+08:00

There is something wrong with my idiot comment box. *idiot* and what's the problem with all my fonts... Lolx.. there are some huge nowadays!!!!! For blind people arrr???

Whatever.... =)

Oh~ PBB mention about the letter stuff and was doing comparison!!!! This kinda thing can't be compared. Arrrrr.... and erm... it's bad. Yea yea... no good no good... and BB is still so fussy over food!!! =X me too right?? Lolx...

Cannot compare in the sense that I feel I've told her alot of things already. One should know how to appreciate and erm... be content. It's not easy for me to spill lah. Blehs...

Aww.. talking about letters, I still owe someone letter. =X Shitsssss.... haven't prepare a single word yet. Hais.s.s.s.s..s.s.. I got lotsa tutorial.. But after finish doing them , I feel good!!!!

Vanessa, how do you feel today!!??
I.... F--E---E---L GOOD!!!
Oh I feel so goodddd.... =)

P.S:// Oh dear~~~ Am I fierce??? Fierce meh?? Huh?? I don't know!!! >O How how!!!????

I love my friends. How how how?? Ahaha... muacks lah.. xOxO. Weeee....;P

2004-07-24T10:23:00.000+08:00

How's life how's life??
Getting busier.
More work.
*nods*

But more fun??
Hmmm...
Kinda...
SO MUCH better than the starting of school!!!
Oh ya... my friends is whipping up a comics about how we meet and blah blah...

Oh so are you test coming??
Yea~ of course. Coming Soon!!!! *faint* Still don't have the confidence. Ya... because I didn't read up. =P *lazy* very lazy!!!!!! I must buck up... =*(

Projects???
No need to say more about it...
What do you think??
On the second day of school, we're already grouped into groups!!!
Patrick said that we gonna do surveys too that's why we're learning SPSS.
Arghghghgh....

Just want to say something out of the blue.

2004-07-20T10:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Blogger rawks right?? Having so many new tools up here. Woo~~ *playing with the colors* Alright... ENOUGH!!!

Steal some time before I leave home for school. Today gonna stay till 10pm. =X saddening. Yesterday, I have a few words with BB lah. Eh~things wasn't smooth sailing for her. Yea yea... whatever. =X See ar... prolly this is all meant to be like this.. in the sense was made to focus more on other things. yeah~....

At least I'm there to listening to those words and I try to speak as much things that I could just to make her feel better. Dang~..... By the way, she's going for her class outing and I do wish that her friends do make her happier... Since she feels that her other friends could make things better for her.

The question is... Why holding on to the past so tightly when you know that it's NOW now... yea~... Things could have been much easier if you think in a easier way... Learn to let go at times.. It's hard at the beginning but it gets easier then...
Eg:// What should I have for dinner...
AnS:// Tonight got night class so... NO DINNER!!!! =*(

A friend's success doesn't determine your failure. IF you think otherwise, think again. =)

Weeee.... Love ya!!!!

Haiya~ got to run le... meeting my friends at about 11.10am and now it's 11.05am. =P I love my blogger. Weeeeee.......

Loser.

2004-07-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

I've been crying. Dumb. Over a lost book and what my mum is nagging me about just because I've got lesson till 10pm. 1 simple question. Do you think I love going on without any dinner on Tuesday night?? Or do you think I enjoy being hungry for a while... then till I feel nothing. Thousand of reasons proves that I doesn't like it. Mum just couldn't get it and she keep forgetting about my night lesson. I'm so turn off by everything now.

Moreover, I lost my book. I went in to the lecture but leave my book behind. After 2 hours, I realised it but it was too late. No longer there. I lost it. It's like a lost me in there. I hate that feeling. Can imagine how I look / react to things at that point of time. Everything was damn bad. I don't even care for those who tried to talk to me ... As in i reply whatever is in my mind... like erm.. rubbish.

I went totally bonkers back home. In the bathroom, in my room. Life is tough. I wasn't that stupid to ask how would it feels like to jump off the building. My answer is ugly. I want to get a tattoo. Tattoo -- my mum hated most. Tattoo... pain. Tattoo.. expensive. Tattoo... good try.

Wah liaos... I don't know anything lah. Feeling so complex. Just shut up. pieces of shit.

Fcuk up.

2004-07-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

Awww... everything is in a mess. I hate that stupid CMS right now. It's a e-learning and stuff. Actually, I'm not very sure of what it can help me with my studies except extra work. =X I'm so PC right now. *pessimist*
I'm still caught in that idiotic pithole. Hell ass. I'm tired. How much time do you need to adapt to a new environment?? ME, used to be easy and fast. Now, it's like hell. I hate it. 1 week, 1 month or a year?? Sorry.. 1 week had gone with the wind. As for 1 month, I see no light ahead.. and for 1 year, hurray... new class again. Most importantly is left another 2 years to graduation. I try to get my brain to listen to me that 3 years is very fast.. I'll get my ass out of that school in no time.. just 3 years. Saw it?? 1 week already pass me by.. another week will come another will go.. all in all, it will makes up to 3 years. Just endure... Perserverance.
I was trying to get into the mood of doing my accounting tutorial 2. Should be done by next week. Argh~ PC lah. Not because of the work. Something bad with me now... I dream and I woke up in the middle of the night talking to my mum when she's in my room closing my window. WTF. Wonder what had really got into my mind. Stress?? Split personality?? =X Gone case.
I was listening to Canon in D and erm.. it reminds me of PBB because I was rotting at her house before the BBQ and she played this piece for me. HaixxxXXXxxxx... PC AR. I wanted to complain so much about the stuff that went on in my messy life. But I didn't know where should I start. Everything just turn up to be so fcuk up.
Pray for time to flies. 3 years wasn't hard.

Greedy.

2004-07-11T18:58:00.000+08:00

I was in the living room trying to read up my text while watching TV but aunt is here... so I moved back to my room.
Mum came into my room and asked if I want to go out with them. I said no but mum told me that we'll go get the top I want... So, I went. *greedy*
Aunt went along with us. I didn't really enjoy except getting my top and NOTHING ELSE. I think I'm very mean. She's my aunt but that's the way I treat her?? Erm.. I don't know. I don't like her.

When I told my mum that I don't really enjoy with my new classmates, she told me because they're new. I thought I normally like new stuff.. I thought. I don't know. Aunt haopen to heard what I said... So she added that I can't say I don't like them. WTF. I mean I don't like means I don't like it. Who the hell are you to stop me from saying what's in me. Damn singaporean.

Today, the evil just got into me that much that I'll just fired at anyone who came to me. I'm sorry. I don't know why. Sunday blues because Monday blues are coming??? Shit. It will be a whole disaster if I introduce my friends the NYP vanessa. IT will be a whole combo shit meal for you guys. Prolly that's what my friends will like BUT 100% not me. The not so childish vanessa. The not so funny me. The not so friendly person. The whole new piece of shit. Darn. Support NYP vanessa cox she sucks. Lolx...

A play.

2004-07-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

People always said that life is a play. I'm in my new play. I'm the main lead. Im the director. I'm the choreographer. I'm the sound system man. I'm the lightings crew man. I'm the coordinator. I'm the trees at the roadside. I'm the bushes behind the scene. I'm all you can see in my play.
I'm the vital role. I'm in the lime light even when I'm only a bush. My play.. no longer crowded with people. No longer filled with noises. No longer warmth.
People around me. I dislike. People around me. Can't communicate well with.
Academic. My main topic in the play. A boring play that anyone would chose to live. i no longer in the wrong form of grammer because i no longer important in the playscript. People out there capitalise it because they believe that i is important. In my case, no. So, grammer teacher have no rights to mark me wrong.

Letter.

2004-07-04T14:12:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to say. Prolly make things easy. 1) wrote a letter to sum1. 2) sad. 3) I thought it should be nice. 4) it's not. 5) I don't know.

Let's preview the whole scene again. Me be that someone and erm.. PBB to be that writer of the idiotic letter. How come all this while, PBB starred over major 'movies' nowadays?? It's okay~ *continue*

One day, I received a letter from PBB telling me about she doesn't like me. -.-''' Okay~ Firstly, everything will be in such a wrong wrong state. Because PBB wouldn't be using such handwritings and erm.. that kinda folding for that letter. All wrong. As well as me.. I hate ugliness.

Then, I'll start reading the words meant for me. Stab stab stab. *piercing pain* but BUT... I'll definitely feel something wrong again. PBB writing those nasty things. Seems so wrong. Seems so not right. Seems so left.

The whole of the letter will bring me to... a confusion state. Like erm..
WHO is the one there when I was bored!!??

WHO is the one there to look at my backview , consoling me when I was tearing at the garden in school!!??

WHO is the one entertaining me all this while!!??

WHO is the one that listen to my crap for 4 years??

WHO is the one playing otello at my house when we're all bored??

WHO is the one playing / enjoying my game of the lips??

WHO is the one helping me to write all those reply letters??

WHO is the one offering me free skating ticx which she sold it to all of her other friends??

WHO is the one whom I shared that stupid email account -- toiletbowlorplates@forpresident.com???

WHO is the one who accompanied me in the game of junk / act act virus mail???

WHO is the one in the NICOTINE gang besides fx and pl??

WHO is the one being kicked out of IRC channels and yet so happy about it besides fx and pl??

Who is the one offering her house for that home econs project and have lotsa fun there???

Who is the one putting up with all my tantrums when she wakes me up in the morning??

WHO is the one categories me as the friend that is suppose to receive unique chrismas card from her???

WHO is the one who saw me using the origami bookmark from her???

WHO is the one offered to make me another origami bookmark and some other origami stuff??

I don't think I need to say more. I don't. The ans for WHO IS THE ONE is definitely PBB. I never knew I miss her so much until that day. I never know it. I never believed that I still remember so many things that happened throughout all this 4 years. From a small little happy 'threesome' friendship to a new group now, we're still exchanging memory and the same connection.

Agree totally that we may not seem as close but the connection is strong. It's always there without me knowing most of the time. I don't know how to describe the connection. I do believed that between friends, there are such connection that bring you together spiritually and not physically. The easiest example i can bring out is like when I told her about what I remembered we did last time and only that incident, she'll be.. It came to me a few days back too!!!! There was times when I wanted to ring her up but forgotten to do so.. and she called. Amazing you may say .. but I believe that's a small part of our connection. Connection starts to build up when we get involved in making our memories together.

She knew that I'm not good at telling her stuff. Even though I told her, I'm not able to use the right words. But, she said it's okay. Because, the connection in us makes her understand things better than what I said. It's something can't be seen but felt.

Okay okay... I think I'm getting upset as I typed further on. Forgetting about signing off here now. The main point is about the letter. Someone cried. I'm complicated. I'm unhappy not because I make someone sad or make someone cried. It's the question between connection. It's a disappointment but yet I feel sorry including for myself. I rather this part had never appeared in our memory and allowing me to suspect about our connection. I can't say no connection at all. I can't. Is like when I saw an accident, will I be shocked first then call for help or call for help first then be shocked?? It's so dumb.. of course be shocked first right. I don't take risk. I try not to conclude answers for what happened like this.

Prolly I shouldn't ask for more because I put in another scenario for PBB. She said she wouldn't talk to me if I told her I don't like her. I told you it's easier than said. I know her. She'll be like me... thinking of WHO IS THE ONE not offering chocos to her when she's crying and keeps on eating. That idiotic someone is me. I guess this part is erm.. up to her to fill it in. I can't remember what I did for her.. But that little things she did for me is always inside somewhere.. I don't remember them all. I'm honest to say that I don't remember them all but give me some hints and I'll tell you what.

This blog of mine, prose diary but it's preview of me. With no attactive skin or whatsoever. It exude thing of things not at prima facie. -- at least this entry.

I don't care I need to sign off now. I'm depressed. Moreover, school is waiting for me tomorrow. I've got a night class going on on tuesday. A night class without PBB and that will be the first night lesson in my life without PBB. Can you think about the others you hanged around too before night class?? I can but I highlight the main point because that night, all along in my mind was my friend -- BB.

Don't asked me why didn't I give PBB all my blog's add. I've repeated over a thousand times. I don't need a twin .. I need a friend. Don't you think by giving blog's add helps to build up some things between friends. I hope. PBB needs something more than my blog would say.

ShitzzZzz.. I didn't want to sign off now. I want to say more. I'm very different from her. I don't ask for food from people. I don't share food. I'm not a single bit similar her. Ever since young, I'm like this. When people offer me food, I don't take them. I'm super annoying child but adults think I'm cute. Let them be. I got to know her.. and I changed bits. I force out words like can I try what you've got?? It's hard. It's really hard. Even now, it's hard. Think about me.. I'm like that since young. Even with my family, I would open my mouth and ask for food. That's why I always think that Mabel is ill mannered. Share food... erm.. I'm quite ok BUT NOT WITH THOSE NEW FRIENDS. I'm irritating as well because I don't keep presents and erm.. I seldom give presents. People like me, always have a hard time preparing presents. Appearance are important. I can go easy on every part. Mum say they throw. I believe they throw. *that's to make me feel better so that I can don't put in so much effort in making presents* Erm~ Did I mention something?? I went over to someone's place and I saw the xmas present I gave -- a painting. Someone kept it. Mum was wrong. They don't throw. I mean at least someone don't throw. It feels good and somehow not so good. IT tells me that my effort is still there and I can't go easy on presents. A good one or a bad one?? I can't decide. But if ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO THROW AWAY MY PRESENTS, GIVE IT BACK TO ME. It's my effort and not the price I pay for and want them back.

I'm going off track.

Puffy eyes.

2004-07-01T16:17:00.000+08:00

=( Thinking of the long hours in school on Tuesday, I cried yesterday. Can I rephrase?? Don't care~ this is my blog? If you said no, YOU NEED SOME SLAPPINGS IS IT!!?? Not long hours but late lessons. Hours are pretty alright but it drag till late night. I'm not applying for night class for goodness sake. -.-'''
Oh~ night class. Reminds me of Physics night class then brings my memory to PBB. Why ar!!?? We hang out too much before the night class. All in my mind now is school food, foodcourt or McD food. We'll always vote for this 3 options but occasionally, LOT1 foodcourt will always be dragged down as well. PBB most likely will go for McD or LOT1. Kekekeke... After lunch we'll fool around.
*upside down lips* the first time we played that was at my house. I'm the inventor of this lame game. The last time we played this in our uniform is also before the night class. The last time we played is at erm~ YY's house. Entertainment from PBB is good enough. Lolx..
PBB:// Will you miss me ar? *or indirectly ask this*
Me:// No *capricorn mah*

P.S:// I'm not good at expressing and I'm tired now. =)

=_=

2004-06-30T15:58:00.000+08:00

The asian chic has gone. I've got no time to get another layout. Anyone willing to help out?? Wahaha.. I'm lazy. No no nO~ actually, I'm too picky.

Help me out if you're kind enough. =)

Gmail.

2004-06-28T16:38:00.000+08:00

What's hype man? Dang~ 1GB memory space lah. Lolx.. By the way, I didn't make full use of it because my gmail remains as a mystery. Muahahah.. Not a bad hoster.. Can report spam.. Should be quite useful. Yeah~ only invited users. Kekekeke...

New school.

2004-06-26T17:22:00.000+08:00

New school. New new new.
I shouldn't type down any statement till the day I know them better. =) *be fair* Since I haven't meet up with all of them yet. Kinda stress.
Very hard to breath. very hard. =(

'california roll' rollsss..

2004-06-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

Feeling alright. Sleepy. Dry eyes. Uncomfy throat. Dying -- not so serious!!!!
Things went well. Bombarded with fun. Still sleepy. ^^;; Happy events just ended faster. Much more faster.. *yawning* XO Ate junk food. Lotsa them. I'm as comparable as junk too. >_> WTH. Alright.
Somebody pissed me off. What's that? Dumb. Advantage?? What?? Dumbo. *no attention given -- too tired to think how to bitch about you* You count yourself as lucky.. I'm tired to shit at your face. Who do you think you are? Wahahaha... DUMBO!!!
Just gonna end fast since I've not been posting here often~ =) Wonder how will my days be like outside SG. Today, I start to ask myself if I'm looking forward to it. Going with a buncha people... whom I don't think I'll enjoy AT ALL. Yea~ NOT AT ALL WHEN I'M WITH THEM. NOT AT ALL. Just forget it. I need to go out for a while. God bless me. I wish everything went well there too. Hope hope hope for the BEST!! =D BUt I've got no confidence at all. That buncha people's view of having holiday is totally different from me. TOTALLY off... Too way out.. We didn't share the same thing in our mind.. It's hard. Yea darn hard to get along with them I guess. *generation gap = the biggest problem exist on earth* Seriously, I don't like the people I'm going with. *don't like as in for holiday terms* Yea~ don't like.
No chemistry, no same view, no thinking, not fun, not advanturous, no joke, not funny, not enjoyable, not lovely, not cute, not happening, not sporting, not play-able.. I guess this enough. A tried brain.. able to generate SO many reasons that she's not gonna enjoy the holiday to the fullest. We shall see how true can it be then. Yea.. my blogging continue. I'm a person with no life?? Fat hope. I don't think so though my habit is sleeping. What you gonna do?? None of your business right??
-scam-

spin.

2004-06-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

*headache* I didn't like this. I don't like it at all. Uncle and aunt is at my house right now. -.-'' I'm okay with them but not their kids. I'm sorry. I prefer babies.. Only babies don't run around~ not that they don't want is that they can't. Understand?? That's why I Mabel don't really dare to go to my room. She knew that I'll chase her out anyway. Lolx.. Don't touch my things. Don't disturb me and I shall spare your life.
Yea~ I'm that selfish. I hate people to touch my things. I really do. Don't provoke me. I'm highly dangerous right now. My house is in a big mess. How I wish I could move my computer into my room and not doing my blogging here... Damn..
I hate what's happening now. So many people at my house. -.-''' Don't like it or should I say I'm not use to it?? Nah~~~ hate to find it out. Don't ask me. Blehs... I know I can't leave the hot seat.. Those bloody kids will be taking over!!!!! Argh~ Dumbo... my cousin is standing behind me. Heck~ I continue ranting about blody kids here. Why can't she be more sensitive and not see / peep what I'm writing?? I'll be forever angry till they leave.

=_=

2004-06-04T16:09:00.000+08:00

I'm tired and I'm sleepy. I'm getting enough sleep but *yawns* alright.. =(

Privacy here.

2004-05-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

TT__TT No privacy there. No no no... not a single bit of privacy. Unknown user linking my diaryX and people i know in real life actually came to my blog read my stuff... I prefer strangers reading my stuff and erm those with permission. When I start my blog, my diaryX, on 4 peeps get to know it.
Whatever no privacy there.. I feel much better here. =)

excited

2004-05-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Oopxie~ so sorry for tha lack of updates.. So busy over at the other blogs. I shouldn't be opening up SO many blogs. What the hell I'm I tryign to do?? *try out new stuff??* Argh~ Looking for trouble man!!! Ahahahha... *heck* Try my best to update all blogs with different news ad stuff about me!!! *stay tune* Lolx... You're lucky to know 1-all blogs so please comment here!!! hohohoho~
Oh~ gawd!!!! Know what know what!!?? I'm flying over to aussie on the 10th man. Nananibooboo. That's what I really need now... A really good and nice break from where I am now. I'm kinda sick of here!!! I need to do my shopping over there!!! *excited*
But the only sad thing is that I'm gonna miss a lot of gatherings here. TT__TT Because they're having holidays and I'm actually going overseas. Tada~ Isn't what I want?? Lolx.. Told the girls before right. Not to be a spoiler. Lolx.. Yea~ do enjoy stuff here man. An island without me will always be bright. =) Spoiler is here... scam!!! Lolx... *alright whatever*
How I wish I could just get there and never be back again. I hate here so much now.. Seriously. I want to get over asap. You see... In life, there is always somethings that will like erm~ make you stay... but however, I really need a holiday right now!!!! Make me alive... Give me to power to live!!!! Wohoo... I wonder how will the things be over there.. So relaxing.. Doing nothing everyday... *enjoying* Open space.. No traffic jams.. No aunty forcing their way through and pushing you aside... No more gatherings.. Lalalala... Yup yup~ I've asked my friend to message me about her life while I'm gone.. Ahahaha~ message or email are appreciated~ Wahahah... because I wanna know how the chalet work out to be. Yea yea~ She was kinda sad because I'm leaving but I do need so rest .. *haven't I got enough* Whatever... Lolx... I wish I cpould spend more time with her since erm~ school wasn't really enjoyable for her!!! Hmm~ wait till i'm back or erm.. before I'm gone eh??
Oh yea~ anyone reading this, tell me what's going on while im not around. Because I think everything will be better off without me. *seriously.* I'm such~ ..... -.-'''
P.S:// Must update me with all gatherings .. what happen to ya~ and whatsoever.. I think I'll be interested!!! hohoho... Thanks and erm.. the alumni meeting. Update me since I'm not able to attend it and how about my tee??? My alumni tee?? Hoping for someone to settle for me if you're going for that meeting. *muacks* eh~ it's kinda early now.. I mean I've still got a few more days before I'll fly over.. So, I don't really need to say everything at a shot right now.. Kekekeke... Whatever~ i think I've finish what I actually wanna tell you people... =P *I'm gonna be broke. I'm gonna spend on my surfy stuff till I really drop* Aww... how how how!!??? Die die die... TT__TT *prolly I'll have more things to tell when it's nearing.. * =)

Madness

2004-05-25T20:36:00.000+08:00

Playing:// 長瀬智也 -- Hototribocchi no haburashi

Lolx.. I'm gone!! Lolx.. So into tagging and commenting!!!!! Blah~ WTH!!! Okie okie~ whatever~ just got my ebiko a new look. Asia chic man!!! Hohoho~ I think it looks cool. Blogspot is erm~ not much people know about it and I'm like kinda out of things to blog either.. Lolx..
This is totally madness!! I've got my taggy board there and erm~ comments on.. So what you gonna do is do both!!! Lolx.. *thanks thanks* Prolly, I'm just too bored!!! Aha~ I love blogspot?? Sort of.. It provides me with a madness gmail!!!!!! Lolx.. Woot~ that's what I want man!!! Easy to deal with my layout thought it's kinda troublesome.. Editing here and there but at least it's better then I can't change it right?? Wahahaha.... This is total madness. How many blogs am I'm holding on to now?? Erm~~~ Lotsa em!!!! Lolx... Whatever~ Love them. =)
ciaos

Friendster.

2004-05-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

Oh man~ friendster has been so lack!!!! *due to those upgrading of hardwares!!*
Ok ok whatever whatever~!!~ I've accepted a few strangers that invited me. Erm~ I hated one of them!!!! So irritating!!! the other is like erm~ so drama man... going after his girlfriend.. blah blah blah... -.-'' seriously, I'm not interested in any of the story he told me!!! Blehs~ how about opthers..?? Didn't actually chat with all of them... The last one is like erm.. ok ok!!! At least not that irritating and annoying.. But all of them is the same!!! SAME SAME SAME!!!! Can we meet?? You free tomorrow?? Wanna catch a movie together?? Argh~ repeat for the thousand time, I DON'T MEET NET FRIENDS!!!
Some rantings about despo in my life. Lalalala... blogspot is kinda fun.. kinda interesting but no blogders to keep me going on!!! Lolx.. =)

Wassup man

2004-05-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

これがわたしの新のにっき？？
わかりました。。
どして日本語わ？？
ああ。。。わかりました！！＞。＜；；
今日わ、ＨａｐｐｙＭｏｄｅですね。
お~ みんあさんおやすみなさい。＝Ｐ
また。。
「ヴァネッサ」

A new world.

2004-05-21T20:21:00.000+08:00

Yup~ a whole new world in blogspot. Blogger rawks.. But I'm using xanga as well. Nice nice!!! Don't really know what to post up here. Feel kinda new here whenever I feel like blogging. =)
I think I've got problem using blogspot. TT__TT

2004-05-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

Woot~ it has been a long time before I hit my blog spot. Lolx.. Yea lotsa new stuff cominh up here... *interesting*
cheerios

2004-05-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

Everything is fine yeah so fine.. Happy!!!! *celebrate for me will ya*
Hohoho~ Dumbo = huo min. >,< blehs~

2004-04-17T18:53:00.000+08:00

Take pity on me,
Let me go~
Set me free...
Allow me to fly towards to the blue sky I yearn for~
*suffocating*
I'm just like a girl being abandon at the back alley,
alone at the dark, moisture and smelly narrow alley.
Feeling so helpless and weak~
All I could see of the light beyond the darkness...
The source of light that never reach out to me.
wishing for a strike of light, leading me the way out.
I've never given up on the slightest hope given to me.
I knew I can't...
I wait~ though I know that it maybe useless to be persistent.
I can't help.
You may describe me as stubborn.
Your wish~
I doesn't want any regrets in my later life~
So, I got to persist...
Even though it left me with scars and tears.
I believe the sunlight will sure shine after the dark clouds were gone.

*a little prayer*

2004-04-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

I feel so sorry for myself as well.
Appeal UNSUCCESSFUL darling.
Gotta write in appeal letter.
How how how!?
*panic* *lost and not found*
Hmm... Bad bad~
It's really serious without a course alright.
Hmm.. things wasn't easy for me.
Standing at the bottom, facing upwards~
I feel that the bright side is too strong for my bare eyes to handle.
It hurts...
Nah~ my day after tomorrow gonna be... WHAT!?
Everything just back fired?
Eh~ blue.. low..
Are things just there trying to get me!?
Aww... let me go won't you!?
Duh~ life is like a rubbish heap right now.
Stink like hell...
*SAD*
Help~ I need to take in fresh air...
I yearn to go skiing right now....
I hate what's in my mind...
Conquering, swirlling and floating in my brain and engulfing me...
Feeling so breathless...
Prayers are a waste of time.
It didn't help.
All those worries are like pest.
USELESS.
Me too.... USELESS as well.